Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope

by Mark Manson

The values we pick up throughout our lives crystallize and form a sediment on top of our personality.36 The only way to change our values is to have experiences contrary to our values.

This is why there is no such thing as change without pain, no growth without discomfort. It’s why it is impossible to become someone new without first grieving the loss of who you used to be.

What if people’s unavailability has more to do with them than it does with you?

“There is an emotional gravity to our values: we attract those into our orbit who value the same things we do, and instinctively repel, as if by reverse

magnetism, those whose values are contrary to our own.41 These attractions form large orbits of like-minded people around the same principle. Each falls along the same path, circling and revolving around the same cherished thing.”

“The stronger we hold a value,” he wrote, “that is, the stronger we determine something as superior or inferior than all else, the stronger its gravity, the tighter its orbit, and the more difficult it is for outside forces to disrupt its path and purpose.42