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“Instead of running off next time,” Luca said dryly, “I’m betting if you ask him for something he might just give it to you.”
He smelled so good. Felt so good. Like comfort, security, and need, all in one. There was a name to it, but I didn’t know what.
“Where did you find that?” I glanced at the lighter, recognizing I’d brought it with me. “On the floor after you got into it with my brother.” “You kept it.” “Yes.” “Why?” I hesitated, a lie forming on my tongue before I swallowed it down. I felt bad enough about today that I couldn’t stand to be untruthful. “It was yours,” I breathed. It went so quiet I could hear the beats of my heart. Bu-bum. Bu-bum. “You’re forgiven,” he rasped.
“Can I ask for something?” “Shoot,” he drawled against my neck. I said it before I could stop myself. “I want Isabel gone.” His lips traced my ear, and seconds passed as I held my breath. “Done.” My heart ached. His hand ran up my thigh and around to my ass, pulling my body against his. He kissed a line down my throat. “Can I ask for one more thing?” I breathed. I felt a smile on my neck. “You’re awfully needy today.” I swallowed. “No women . . . not here, okay?” He stilled for a moment, and with a sinking sensation in my belly I wondered if I’d taken it too far. If he would say no. “That’s
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“Maybe I wanted to,” I whispered. He watched me for so many seconds it made my pulse race. He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Come on. Let’s go inside.” He grabbed my hand and tugged me along. I followed. He was comfort, security, and need, all in one. It had a name. Home.
Great, I'm sobbing now
I choked as pain spread through me. “Nico, I’m so sore.” His hands gentled on me. “Fuck, baby, I’m sorry.” He leaned forward and captured my top lip between his, kissing me with a sweet pull.
He was an infatuation, a craving, a need, and I was sure it was unrequited. But as my fingers ran down his tie and rested on his chest— Bu-bum. Bu-bum. Bu-bum. His heartbeats raced for me.
“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” —Cesare Pavese
She was so small and breakable in my arms—I could snuff the life right out of her with little effort. The thought made something tighten in my throat.
She chose me instead of her papà. And fuck, if that hadn’t filled me with a warm wave of satisfaction.
“I don’t think my papà likes you.” I laughed. “I don’t think many Abellis do.” “I do,” she whispered. Fuck. “Yeah?” “Yeah.”
Damn, she was too beautiful. It fucking hurt to look at her.
Jesus, I didn’t think I’d fucked another woman since I’d met this girl. Truthfully, I was pretty sure I was obsessed, and I didn’t give a single fuck about it anymore. I just wanted to keep feeding it. Fucking her, kissing her, eating her out, over and over, until I was dead. The idea that I couldn’t made me feel sick, like I was catching a bad case of the flu or something.
Why did you kill your cousin?” My lips pressed against her ear. “He had a gun to your head.” A shiver rolled through her. I’d known she was mine even then.
Any man would give up his life savings and left nut for Elena.
“There is no other man for you.” Her lips quirked. “You’d make sure of that even in death?” “Yes,” I told her, though I didn’t know what the fuck I was saying. “If anyone would go to those extremes, it would be you.”
I like his sister? Was that what it was? Sounded mediocre in comparison to what I felt about Elena. Gianna’s words suddenly filled my mind. Because you’ll fall in love with her. And she won’t love you back. Well, Jesus H. Christ. Gianna was right. Fuck. This was inconvenient.
“If you want to sit around and talk about me fucking your sister, be my guest. Brings back good memories.”
“For whatever reason—most likely Stockholm—Elena chose you, and I respect her choice. But if you hurt her, I’ll have to kill you.” I laughed. I was pretty sure I’d rather cut off my left arm than ever hurt her, but fuck if I was going to let him know she was my biggest weakness. My gaze froze to ice. “Since we’re getting the threats out of the way—if you ever do anything stupid enough to get another gun pointed at her head, I’ll skin you alive. Got it?” He smirked. “Got it, bro.”
Fuck, I was whipped. If perfection had a face, a body, a voice—this girl would be it. I skimmed a thumb across her soft cheekbone. My gaze found her ring and my throat tightened. Gianna’s words filled my mouth with a bitter taste. I would make this girl want me, need me, love me, because fuck if I was going it alone.
“We are most alive when we’re in love.” —John Updike
“Why did you kill Oscar Perez?” I blurted. Nico stood with his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the island. His gaze was as calm and deep as the sea. “Because you were mine.”
“Maybe you screwed fate.” My voice was a whisper as I stared at the white summer dress on the couch. I didn’t look at him, but I didn’t have to, to know that my words struck a nerve. The heat of his stare burned my cheek. “There is no such thing as fate,” he snapped. “And even if there were, the last thing anyone would ever do is pair you with Oscar Perez.” “The Fates would pair me with you? You’re no saint.” “Do you want a saint, Elena?” No, I want you. But I don’t want the heartache you’ll bring along.
“Let me go, Nico.” Hold me tighter. “You gonna take this dress upstairs and put it on?” “You want a virgin,” I protested. “You chose Adriana over me.” I tried to pull his arm off me, but it was like trying to pry steel. His laugh rumbled down my back. “Is that what you think? That I chose your weird sister over you?” My teeth gritted as he dropped me to my feet. “She’s not weird.” “Your papà told me you were unfit for marriage. I didn’t pick between the two of you.”
“I do.” The two words were spoken by a don, but his gaze burned like warm vanilla whiskey. And then he promised to love, honor, cherish and protect me, forsaking all others and holding onto only me. By the way he’d said it, you’d almost believe him.
I kissed him on the lips. Soft and sweet and heartbreaking. And then I was Mrs. Nicolas Russo.
“Nico, what if the Three Fates were real and I’d been destined for another?” He slipped his hands into his pockets, his gaze igniting with a spark. “I guess I’d have to find those Fates and burn them to the ground.” I bit my cheek to hold in a smile and gave my head a small shake. “You’re crazy.” He let out a laugh, looked at the sky, and muttered almost inaudibly, “Crazy about something.”
He nipped my bottom lip. “You make me fucking crazy.” “Don’t blame me for your psychosis.” “You are my psychosis.”
A tight sensation wrapped around my lungs—a mixture of fear, embarrassment, and vulnerability—but I needed him to know I wanted him. The truth was, I needed him in a way I couldn’t even fathom, but I couldn’t let anyone know it was that severe, especially him. Finding the courage somewhere deep inside of me, I rose to my toes and pressed my lips to his ear. “After that moment in the kitchen at my parents’, I was so hot I couldn’t even think . . . so I went to my room and lay on my bed. And then I slipped my fingers inside me and pretended they were yours.”
I slept in his bed. Sometimes with my face in his chest. Sometimes with his body spooning mine and his arm around me. Always with him pressed against me. Always with his hands on me and his smell everywhere. I didn’t know how or even when it happened, but somehow, he’d found a way to tear down my boundaries and embed himself in every piece of me. Something touched me deep in the chest. Something warm and fragile. Something unraveling like a rope. He didn’t go to work those seven days. He taught me how to cheat at cards. How to fuck. And how to make an omelet. His mamma was a good cook, he
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I loved how big he was and how I always felt small and safe with him. The truth was, I loved everything about him and there was no going back. It was full speed ahead, like a train that couldn’t stop for the girl standing with wide eyes on the tracks.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.”
A small part of me believed Nico might have helped me with this if I asked him—but there was also a larger possibility he wouldn’t. And in that case, I would lose the opportunity for good.
HE WOULD
“Oh, Elena. I am the villain.” A dark undertone slipped into his light Colombian accent.
“See what I mean? I’ve hardly begun charming you and you’re already dying to touch me.”
LMAOOOO
He gave his head a shake, tightening his jaw. “What the hell,” he muttered. “This city was beginning to bore me anyway.” His hand dropped from his pocket and his dark gaze met mine. “Two. Tickets. Elena.”
I fear I need his book
“I have killed no men, that, in the first place didn’t deserve killing.” —Mickey Cohen
In all honesty, I didn’t feel like working on my car right now. I felt like fucking my wife, or even staring at her. Whatever I could get. But I came out here for a reason. Inside, she was everywhere. The sound of her voice. Her soap in my shower and her clothes in my room. Her hair ties and little wedding notes on every surface. The soft scrape of her nails on the back of my neck whenever she sat on my lap. Fuck, I was in so deep I didn’t know the way up.
I wanted her. Her genuine smiles. Her loyalty. Every fucking piece of her. I’d been testing the waters earlier, but as tense as she got I realized she was nowhere near where I was. Not by a long shot.
The worst had happened. I loved the fucking woman. And now my biggest weakness walked outside my body, with soft brown eyes and long black hair. There were a lot of men who would love to hit me in my weak spot; the reason I had never wanted the vulnerability. But what I didn’t expect was this calmness to come with it, this surety that I would fucking die before I let them.
I'M SOBBING
With an unnatural calmness, I searched every room. Mine—ours.
Crazy, she called me. She had no idea how goddamn crazy I could be. I’d give Christian an hour before I started tearing this city apart piece by piece.
Giggling and kicking my feet
He wanted his sister to go to college, not to live the same life as him, working hours and hours and never making enough. For families out here, it was like a merry-go-round that could never be stopped. What I did remember was blood, lifeless eyes, and how passionately he spoke about his family. He would have done anything for them, and I couldn’t sit by and do nothing when I had the means to help.
If anything, I now understood why women stuck by the men in this world, no matter what they did or said. Love. Why couldn’t it work both ways?
“I’ll get a job and pay you back.” “You think this is about the fucking money?”
His gaze found mine in the reflection of the glass. “Do you know how many men would want to hurt you to hurt me?”
“There was never another man since we met.” I pressed my forehead to his neck. “No one but you.”
His thumb ran down my lips. “Why keep your mouth from me then?” I averted my gaze, not being able to say this as I looked him in the eyes. “Men like you break a woman’s heart . . . I didn’t want to love you.” His deep voice filled my ears. “Did it work?” My heartbeat drummed. “No,” I breathed.
“I felt fucking crazy wondering where you were,” he bit out. I nodded again. “You don’t know,” he growled. “I can’t stay away from you for more than a fucking day and you can run off without a second thought.” I shook my head, but his grip slid to my chin and stopped me. “You. Don’t. Know.”
“I don’t want to do this if there are going to be other women, Nico. I can’t.” He watched me for two tense seconds. “You’re enough for me.”
