Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson, #1)

by Rick Riordan

Look, I didn’t want to be a half-blood. If you’re reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.

Being a half-blood is dangerous. It’s scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.

But if you recognize yourself in these pages – if you feel something stirring inside – stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it’s only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they’ll come for you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

‘This is not happening,’ Grover mumbled. He started chewing at his thumb. ‘I don’t want this to be like the last time.’ ‘What last time?’ ‘Always sixth grade. They never get past sixth.’

‘Grover – that snipping of the yarn. Does that mean somebody is going to die?’ He looked at me mournfully, like he was already picking the kind of flowers I’d like best on my coffin.

A word about my mother, before you meet her. Her name is Sally Jackson and she’s the best person in the world,

The only good break she ever got was meeting my dad. I don’t have any memories of him, just this sort of warm glow, maybe the barest trace of his smile. My mom doesn’t like to talk about him because it makes her sad. She has no pictures.

Lost at sea, my mom told me. Not dead. Lost at sea.

‘I am your friend.’ ‘Um … what are you, exactly?’ ‘That doesn’t matter right now.’ ‘It doesn’t matter? From the waist down, my best friend is a donkey –’ Grover let out a sharp, throaty ‘Blaa-ha-ha!’ I’d heard him make that sound before, but I’d always assumed it was a nervous laugh. Now I realized it was more of an irritated bleat. ‘Goat!’ he cried. ‘What?’ ‘I’m a goat from the waist down.’ ‘You just said it didn’t matter.’ ‘Blaa-ha-ha! There are satyrs who would trample you under hoof for such an insult!’

I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening, but I couldn’t do it. I knew this wasn’t a dream. I had no imagination. I could never dream up something this weird.

Even if you are half barnyard animal, you’re my best friend and I don’t want you to die!

‘He’s the one. He must be.’ ‘Silence, Annabeth,’ the man said. ‘He’s still conscious. Bring him inside.’

With her deep tan and her curly blonde hair, she was almost exactly what I thought a stereotypical California girl would look like, except her eyes ruined the image. They were a startling grey, like storm clouds; pretty, but intimidating, too, as if she were analysing the best way to take me down in a fight.

‘it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans.

What if I told you, Perseus Jackson, that someday people would call you a myth, just created to explain how little boys can get over losing their mothers?’

I thought about being a teacher for three thousand years. It wouldn’t have made my Top Ten Things to Wish For list. ‘Doesn’t it ever get boring?’ ‘No, no,’ he said. ‘Horribly depressing, at times, but never boring.’ ‘Why depressing?’ Chiron seemed to turn hard of hearing again.

and I was thinking – as much as I could think with Clarisse ripping my hair out – that if this place belonged to the gods, they should’ve been able to afford classier toilets.

‘My father?’ I asked, completely bewildered. ‘Poseidon,’ said Chiron. ‘Earthshaker, Stormbringer, Father of Horses. Hail, Perseus Jackson, Son of the Sea God.’

‘If I had my way,’ Dionysus said, ‘I would cause your molecules to erupt in flames. We’d sweep up the ashes and be done with a lot of trouble. But Chiron seems to feel this would be against my mission at this cursed camp: to keep you little brats safe from harm.’ ‘Spontaneous combustion is a form of harm, Mr D,’ Chiron put in. ‘Nonsense,’ Dionysus said. ‘Boy wouldn’t feel a thing. Nevertheless, I’ve agreed to restrain myself. I’m thinking of turning you into a dolphin instead, sending you back to your father.’

I am the spirit of Delphi, speaker of the prophecies of Phoebus Apollo, slayer of the mighty Python. Approach, seeker, and ask. I wanted to say, No thanks, wrong door, just looking for the bathroom. But I forced myself to take a deep breath.

‘I mean, couldn’t the master bolt be in some place like Maine? Maine’s very nice this time of year.’

Whoa, boy, said the small part of my brain that was still sane. You’re a kid. Hades is a god.

Gods cannot cross each other’s territories except by invitation. That is another ancient rule. Heroes, on the other hand, have certain privileges. They can go anywhere, challenge anyone, as long as they’re bold enough and strong enough to do it. No god can be held responsible for a hero’s actions. Why do you think the gods always operate through humans?’

Poseidon had ignored me for twelve years. Now suddenly he needed me.

‘So let me get this straight,’ I said. ‘I’m supposed go to the Underworld and confront the Lord of the Dead.’ ‘Check,’ Chiron said. ‘Find the most powerful weapon in the universe.’ ‘Check.’ ‘And get it back to Olympus before the summer solstice, in ten days.’ ‘That’s about right.’

I looked at Grover, who gulped down the ace of hearts. ‘Did I mention that Maine is very nice this time of year?’ he asked weakly.

‘I suppose you have a plan, Wise Girl?’

‘Remind me again – why do you hate me so much?’ ‘I don’t hate you.’ ‘Could’ve fooled me.’ She folded her cap of invisibility. ‘Look … we’re just not supposed to get along, okay? Our parents are rivals.’

All I cared about was my mom. Hades had taken her unfairly, and Hades was going to give her back.

What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should’ve been named ADHD poster child of the year.

‘You have offended the gods. You shall die.’ ‘I liked you better as a maths teacher,’

‘I’m not saying hello to a pink poodle,’ I said. ‘Forget it.’ ‘Percy,’ Annabeth said. ‘I said hello to the poodle. You say hello to the poodle.’ The poodle growled. I said hello to the poodle.

‘Um, did you just call that Chihuahua your son?’ ‘Chimera, dear,’ the fat lady corrected. ‘Not a Chihuahua. It’s an easy mistake to make.’

Leave it to a girl to make everything complicated. ‘Fine,’ I told her. ‘I’ll do it myself.’ But when I started down the side of the pool, she followed me, muttering about how boys always messed things up.

‘So if the gods fight,’ I said, ‘will things line up the way they did with the Trojan War? Will it be Athena versus Poseidon?’ She put her head against the backpack Ares had given us, and closed her eyes. ‘I don’t know what my mom will do. I just know I’ll fight next to you.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?’

We’d just released a zebra in Las Vegas.

‘You have evil thoughts for a goat.’ ‘Why, thank you.’

‘Well, Percy, what have we learned today?’ ‘That three-headed dogs prefer red rubber balls over sticks?’

I plan to go down fighting.’

‘You did well, Perseus. Do not misunderstand me. Whatever else you do, know that you are mine. You are a true son of the Sea God.’

Grover grinned, and then he was gone, the trees closing around him. ‘We’ll see him again,’ Annabeth said. I tried to believe it. The fact that no searcher had ever come back in two thousand years … well, I decided not to think about that. Grover would be the first. He had to be.

Sugar and caffeine. My willpower crumbled.

‘I won’t go looking for trouble. I usually don’t have to.’