Timid (Lark Cove, #2)

by Devney Perry

We liked the same candy. That had to mean something. Like . . . fate.

she's a other level delulu 😭

It was a smile that vaporized the two-year crush I’d had on Brendon Jacoby, my lab partner in biology. I couldn’t like a boy now that I’d seen this man.

lol shes cute

One day, I am going to marry Jackson Page. I just had to get him to notice me first.

i bet he's gonna break her heart 🥲

“Hey, Willa.” Oh. My. Goodness. He’d called me by the right name. Finally! After years of correcting him each time he called me Willow, hearing my name in his deep voice gave me wings.

The last thing I wanted was for Jackson Page to think I was scared of him. Well, I was scared. More like terrified. But only because I’d crushed on him for basically my entire teenage and adult life.

He was concerned about me. Me. Willa Doon, the girl who’d been trying to get his attention for nearly a decade.

I’d been forced to settle for chaste glimpses every month or so. My diaries had the exact dates and times.

Despite all the floozies and bimbos, I’d never stopped crushing on Jackson and I’d never stopped watching for him. It was just easier to do now that I was old enough to go into the bar.

“There.” My finger shot in the air. “Did you see it?” “Yeah.” “Aren’t they pretty?” “Beautiful.” But he wasn’t staring at the sky. He was looking at me.

One moment I was trying to find the words to ask him out to dinner. The next, he was kissing me. Jackson Page was kissing me. On the lips.

My eyes went wide. Was this happening? His eyelids were closed. His nose was brushing mine. Our mouths were touching. Jackson Page was kissing me. On. The. Lips!

I’d never be sorry for that kiss. My first kiss. Something I’d avoided for years because I’d been waiting for this kiss with Jackson.

After years of watching and waiting and hoping, Jackson had finally noticed me. Me, the shy girl who’d loved him from a distance. Tonight, he’d made one of my dreams come true.

Jackson grinned. “Hey, Willow. What can I get for you?” My smile faltered. Willow? I stared at him, hoping he’d start laughing at his not-so-funny joke, but he just stood there, waiting to take my drink order. “It’s Willa. With an a,” I snapped. “Will-a.” He winced. “Sorry. I suck at names. Did you want a drink?”

He really had forgotten. He’d forgotten the best night of my life. The best first kiss in the history of first kisses. He’d forgotten me.

Somehow, Thea had reached into my mind and yanked out my dream girl. “She’s hot.” Hot wasn’t the right word, but I didn’t want to get all gooey in front of Thea. Beautiful. Stunning. Ethereal. Those big words would just lead to questions I didn’t want to answer, so instead, I went with hot.

“That is Willa, you dipshit.” “No fucking way.” I yanked the pad from her hands. Willa? The timid blond girl? She was the science teacher’s daughter and a kid. There was no way Willa was this gorgeous woman. “She doesn’t look like this.” “Yes fucking way she does.”

“You want to go out with me?”

Dude!?!??

I went on a total of four dates in college, and though each of the guys had been a gentleman, none of them had been worthy of a first. None of them made my pulse race. None of them made my breath hitch. None of them were Jackson.

I’d just wanted one chance to see if there might be something real between us. I wasn’t delusional. The chance of us falling in love, getting married and having babies was slim. Who knew if we’d work as a couple? But I would have settled for friendship.

The right retort would come eventually. I’d be sitting at home, stewing, and think of exactly what to say and how to say it. My comebacks were witty and hilarious. They were crafted with the perfect amount of sarcasm and bite. They just came too late.

I caught my breath and scowled down at Willa. “When were you going to tell me that we’ve kissed before?”

“I’m not bold. Or daring. But you . . . you were my risk. I put myself out there for you and it didn’t work. So yeah, I didn’t tell you about the kiss.”

“I’d be okay if we never talked about this again.” “Can’t do it.” He shook his head. “Not until I know this isn’t going to come between us.” Us. U-S. Two simple letters that made up possibly my newest favorite word in the entire English language.

“You shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of shit from a man. I’m a mess. If you want me to stop so you can find someone better, just say the word. I’ll walk away.” Better? I snorted a laugh. There wasn’t better than Jackson Page. In my book—literally in my diaries—he was as good as it got.

“I think what’s important is finding a person who makes you better. And someone you can trust with your heart. And, Jackson? I trust you with mine.” Even after our rocky start, I trusted him. “Can I tell you a secret?” He leaned down and whispered, “I have a crush on you.” I smiled. “It’s about time.”

Air kisses. Sweet kisses. Soft kisses. Hard kisses. Wet kisses. Tonight, I’d learned it all. And I couldn’t wait to see what he’d teach me next.

I knew one thing: I’d never have a better date in my life. And when the time came, it was going to be damn hard to walk away from this woman.

“Me too, babe.” Babe. He’d called me babe earlier, right before I’d come. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe it was actually kind of perfect. “That one. Babe. I think I like it now.” “Thank god.” He laughed. “I was running out of options.”

Willa was special. She was the exception to all my rules,

I was glad I’d been able to give her this dream. Some other man—a man who believed in love—would get her others. But at least I’d gotten this one.

Yes, Jackson had fucked me. It had been hard and rough and perfect. But it hadn’t been the cheap sex June and Hannah bragged about. Jackson and I fucked and we loved.

As I closed my eyes, a rush of pity for Hannah and June hit, not because I’d snapped at them, but because they didn’t have this. They might get the sex, but they were missing this part. They were missing the love.

I whispered his name. “Hmm?” I took a deep breath. “Do you love me?” His arms around me jerked and his body stilled. My eyes shot open, staring at the nightstand as I waited for a response. It wasn’t the one I wanted. Jackson relaxed his arms and kissed my hair. “Get some sleep, babe.”

Maybe a braver woman would have pestered and pressed him until he admitted what was bothering him. Maybe she would have stood up to him, demanding he lose the grumpy attitude. But I wasn’t that woman. I let him be a grouch during the day because at night, he’d still sleep with me in his arms.

W 👏🏻 O 👏🏻 W 👏🏻

Was it pathetic that I let him? Maybe a woman who didn’t love him so much would have cut him off.

Still, he’d show up at my apartment in the midnight hours. I never once pushed him away as he crawled into my bed.

This is why men don't even do bare minimum for girls 😃

I refused to believe that he didn’t love me. He did. This was just a big step for him and he needed time. The idea that he didn’t love me, or never would, hurt so badly I couldn’t breathe. Was it pathetic to live in denial?

Atleast she's aware 😭😂

Do you love me? No. No, he did not. And pathetic, stupid, naïve me didn’t care. I stayed with him anyway.

She did not just asked him that way 😭😭

I should have cut her free sooner, but I’d been a coward. A big dumb coward. I hadn’t been able to walk away from her, because I wanted her too much. I needed her too much.

God they are both so pathetic 😭

Why had she waited so long for me? Why had she made me crave her? Why couldn’t she have gone to college and met her future husband? That way, I never would have known her. She would have always just been Willow. This was just as much her fault as it was mine.

“I don’t know anything about being a husband or a father. I don’t know how to love. What I do know is that people walk out more often than they stay. I don’t want to be the guy who walks out on his family. You need someone you can depend on. That’s not me. Eventually, I’ll let you down. I’ll fuck all of this up.”

“So you’re worried you’re going to leave me and break my heart, yet here you are, leaving me and breaking my heart. That doesn’t make any sense.”

I closed my eyes, trying to work up the nerve to leave. But fuck, I wanted to keep her. Forever. Would she stay? Would Willa be that one person to stick? Yes. She was my courageous champion. My warrior. My lover. My friend. My everything. Willa was the one.

Well that was fast

“I love you, Jackson Page,” she whispered. “Don’t run away from me. Please.”

“My Willa,” I whispered. “Only mine.” “Only yours.”

“Say it again.” “I love you.” She arched up, begging for more. “Do you love me?” I notched myself in another inch. “Yes,” she panted. “I love you.” “Again. Say it again.” Maybe if I heard it enough, I’d learn to say it back. “I love you, Jackson Page.” She tugged me closer to whisper in my ear. “I love you. It’s always been you.”

“I love you, Willa.” The words came easy. “Only you.”

If she wanted to get married, I’d put on a suit and stand at an altar and say I do. If she wanted babies, I’d make them with her. Only her.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “For what?” “For being a fighter.” “I’m not.” She kissed my chest. “But I’ll always fight for you.” “Why me?” I asked. “Because you’re you.”