wasn’t necessarily disagreeing with any of these things; I just wanted to ask the question, but I’d been conditioned to feel like that was an incorrect and disobedient impulse. Because to ask meant to doubt and to doubt made you like that Thomas fella who always seemed characterized as the next-sketchiest disciple after Judas, even though now, with the benefit of age, Thomas is the disciple I most identify with. Not because he doubted, but because he thought it was a worthy thing to articulate a doubt so that he could better understand.
