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“You were a pirate queen who stole a treasure from Cortés and then ended up deserting your crew to man-hungry sharks,” Rose tells her. “We’re your punishment for every lifetime to come.”
“I know sometimes it’s scary. But we can’t just turn our backs on who we are.” I scoff. “Right, and end up like Aunt Ro and Mama Juanita and Dad. Our lives are cursed. Magic is the problem.” Lula looks down at her lap. “Don’t say things like that.” “Who else is going to say it?”
I want to ask him how he did that. How do you control something that is living inside of you, like a parasite, a virus? Like this growing thing that has attached itself to me without asking my permission.
“You’re a brat, you know that?” “Excuse me?” His blue-green eyes are brilliant in the shadows. He doesn’t even blink. “I always hated kids like you growing up.” “Kids like me?” “You have everything. A mom that busts her ass for you. All the gifts of the Deos at your disposal. Look at all the people here for you.”
“They’re here for you. You have a legacy. They’re family. You think your life is so tough—you don’t know what tough is. If you knew what I’ve been through, you’d never sleep again.”
“I warned you, you might not like the consequences. I know you want to find someone to blame other than yourself, but you did this, Alex. What did you think was going to happen? The entire universe would change just because you don’t like how your lot turned out? Well, guess what, princess? The rest of us don’t get to choose. Why did you think you’d be any different?”
For beings that don’t bleed, the gods sure ask for a lot of it, I think.
Rishi smiles at me. I forgot how much I missed her smile, like there’s an infinite well of happiness inside of her. I forgot how good I feel just being in her company.
“It’s love, Alex. Love is you jumping through a portal despite your own safety. Love is Mom singing in the car and Rose making tea when we’re sick and even us fighting because we’re blood, and no matter what you do, I’ll never forget that you are my sister.”
Love is Lula. Love is my mom. Love is Rose. Love is in this power that I never asked for but courses through my veins like the blood of my ancestors.
Lula’s done all my fighting for me. Ever since we were little, she was the one to step forward and punch girls or boys who threatened me. Rose fights the visions in her head every day. My mother—my mother is the strongest woman I know, battling the sadness and grief that comes with raising children alone. All I’ve ever done is run from things that scare me.
“Gods don’t bleed,” I say.
Rishi grins. “Or I could just put all my faith in you.”
My magic is linked to everything—the infinity of time, the rapid snuff of death, the sprinkle of stardust, and the released sigh of freedom.
