Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (and Everything in Between)

by Lauren Graham

In this book, I will also see into the future and report my findings to you and to select heads of state. These findings will be lies, as I cannot actually see into the future, but who can stop me saying whatever I want here? It’s my book! I’m drunk with power!

(Hold, please, while I call my therapist.)

I think already proves I am a very unusual, deep, and contemplative person and there’s really nothing left to say, thank you for buying this book, the end.

i love you

AHAHAHAHA, what a TERRIBLE idea this was. Literally the worst example of “learning by doing” ever.

I still find that, in general, having a plan is, well, a good plan. But when my carefully laid plan laughed at me, rather than clutch at it too tightly I just made a new one, even if it was one that didn’t immediately make sense. In blindly trying a different path, I accidentally found one that worked better. So don’t let your plan have the last laugh, but laugh last when your plan laughs, and when your plan has the last laugh, laugh back, laughing!

good ish

I’m just naturally funny, I guess, I thought. I never realized it to this degree before.

ME TOO SIS

therefore the extent of my health advice is this: just don’t eat a lot of crap, take walks, thank you for buying this book, the end.

Sometimes you have a body that just won’t quit. But in this case, I’m stuck with one that refuses to listen.

If you’re trying to lose weight, you’re going to be hungry most of the day, fairly cranky, and irritating to your friends—or maybe it’s your friends who are irritating; it’s hard to tell because you’re so hungry—and you need to be like this every day for about two weeks to see results.

Yet when I told my mom about Gilmore Girls, I remember her saying, “I have a feeling about this one.” And she was right.

but if you happen to run into Betty White, tell her thank you. I’d like to be like her one day.

But I want to tell you what it was like for me to play Lorelai all of those years.

YES

Luke took on a more important role because of Scott’s special sexiness, which was mixed with a gruffness that was the perfect contrast to Lorelai’s chirpy cheerfulness.

I love that we were peopled with a lot of interesting people.

Fashion and hair: Wow, lots of leather blazers and blue eye shadow? For some reason, I was very into blue eye shadow this year. My makeup artist at the time worried it was a bit much, but I liked anything bright and bold for Lorelai.

Times were different: In the second episode this year, someone *69s our cassette-tape-based answering machine!

What I love: The speech in the first episode where Lorelai confesses to Luke she’s worried she’ll never have “the whole package”

Rory’s speech to Lorelai at graduation gets me every time. Oh, and the season began with Lorelai having a dream about being with Luke, and ends with Luke having one about Lorelai. I never noticed that parallel before!

So so good

What I love: This was a great season for hunky Milo Ventimiglia as Jess facing off against hunky Jared Padalecki as Dean. They are both so talented and equally compelling as suitors, I can see why “teams” formed.

a tipping point in Lorelai’s feelings for Luke is the discovery that “Luke can waltz,” embellished with lots of eyebrow wagging on my part, for emphasis.

Luke and Lorelai (finally) kiss,

All our guys are at bonkers hotness levels this season.

Luke tries to help Lorelai, and her response is “Luke, will you marry me?” And before he even has time to answer her, it’s the end. Wow. As season finales go, that’s a pretty exciting one.

I have to admit I struggled with the Lorelai/Rory separation this year. It went on for a while, and Lorelai was so crabby with Rory for several episodes, not to mention that I missed my favorite scene partner.

an adornment that my already broad shoulders don’t really need.

Felt

Vulnerable Emily is so compelling, especially because Kelly only lets her out once in a while.

And that reunion hug was for real! We were both excited to get back to happier times.

“The show’s over,” my agent said. And suddenly, before the appetizers had even arrived, that was that. Just like I’d never been on a long-running show before, I’d never been at the end of one either, and I didn’t know what the protocol was. That day, I was told that I was the first to know, and was asked to wait before reaching out to anyone. I assumed this meant everyone would be getting a call, and given the size of the cast, they needed time to do that. But I found out much later that Alexis and I were the only cast members who were officially informed, and others found out in far less conventional ways.

WHAT

If I had it to do over again, I’d have called everyone myself, and thrown a party too.

After that ended, I contracted a case of man-repellent-itis so severe that it is still being studied by the Mayo Clinic. Or at least that’s how it felt.

Bahahaha

Strangers were worried about me; that’s how long I was single!

In addition to being asked to reveal intimate details about your love life, you’ll also constantly be encouraged to dish about your co-stars, to which there’s only one acceptable answer: that you’re obviously one big happy family (which you, savvy reader, already knew). Then, after you successfully dodge this question, they’ll ask you who’s the best kisser you’ve ever worked with. DON’T ANSWER THIS. It will result in an article stating you’ve “broken your silence” about how awful it was to kiss everyone else.

HA

He asked for my phone number, and then didn’t call me for three months. THREE MONTHS. Of course, when he finally called, I told him politely that he’d waited too long and I didn’t appreciate being disrespected like that. AHAHAHAHAHA. NOPE, I went out with him anyway!

Sounds ab right

Ultimately, everyone who gets close to you is going to see inside your closet on its worst day, and their reaction to that is what will tell you if you’re going to make it or not. You can’t live an entire life secured in by Spanx.

this is the one.

Because here’s the thing: I was fine on my own, and so are you. But it can be hard when you feel ready for Happy Couplehood and you seem to have missed the train. As my friend Oliver Platt used to say to me about hopes and dreams I’d share with him: “It’s coming, just not on your time frame.”

But life doesn’t often spell things out for you or give you what you want exactly when you want it, otherwise it wouldn’t be called life, it would be called vending machine.

It’s hard to say exactly when it will happen, and it’s true that whatever you’re after may not drop down the moment you spend all your quarters, but someday soon a train is coming. In fact, it may already be on the way. You just don’t know it yet.

There’s more comedy in failure than in success, and it’s a much more universal language. At the party, the worst jobs also seemed to be the ones everyone felt most proud to have endured. It’s an accomplishment to do something well, but maybe even a bigger one to do something well when you’d really rather not be doing it at all.

My favorite outfits are jumpsuits. I buy too many.

No Bullshit is by far my favorite school.

An important tool against self-doubt is just to ignore it. Forge ahead anyway. Just keep going, keep going, keep going.

some good advice

I guess what I’m saying is, let’s keep lifting each other up. It’s not lost on me that two of the biggest opportunities I’ve had to break into the next level were given to me by successful women in positions of power. If I’m ever in that position and you ask me, “Who?” I’ll do my best to say, “You” too. But in order to get there, you may have to break down the walls of whatever it is that’s holding you back first. Ignore the doubt—it’s not your friend—and just keep going, keep going, keep going.

Sometimes the idea of doing something is the most fun part, and after you go through with it, you feel deflated because you realize you’re back to looking for the next thrill.

Spend some time with just yourself and your thoughts and nothing to do. How else will you learn who you are?

I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about coffee. Is Lorelai drinking enough coffee? Personally, I’m practically made of the stuff at this point, but I make a mental note to ensure she is too.

I haven’t seen her in ages, but it’s like no time has passed. She’s wearing a gorgeous floral dress that she designed. Melissa has always been an incredible decorator with great taste, and we had fun comparing notes when furnishing our first houses, which were right down the street from each other.

Getting Melissa back was the final, and in some ways to me most important, piece of this puzzle. I can’t tell you what a joy it was to be back in the kitchen as Lorelai with my best friend, Sookie. I’d missed Melissa terribly in real life too.

I thank it for all it did for me, and then I let it go.

So in the studio we all sing the song together. Everyone’s eyes are misty. I don’t care how I sound. My mouth is moving on its own, following the words I’ve known by heart since I was thirteen years old, which meant something to me then and mean everything to me now. If you’re out on the road Feeling lonely and so cold All you have to do is call my name And I’ll be there on the next train Where you lead, I will follow Anywhere that you tell me to If you need, you need me to be with you I will follow where you lead