Don Quixote

by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Another thing to strive for: reading your history should move the melancholy to laughter, increase the joy of the cheerful, not irritate the simple, fill the clever with admiration for its invention, not give the serious reason to scorn it, and allow the prudent to praise it.

An occasional stew, beef more often than lamb, hash most nights, eggs and abstinence on Saturdays, lentils on Fridays, sometimes squab as a treat on Sundays—these consumed three-fourths of his income.

With these words and phrases the poor gentleman lost his mind, and he spent sleepless nights trying to understand them and extract their meaning, which Aristotle himself, if he came back to life for only that purpose, would not have been able to decipher or understand.

In short, our gentleman became so caught up in reading that he spent his nights reading from dusk till dawn and his days reading from sunrise to sunset, and so with too little sleep and too much reading his brains dried up, causing him to lose his mind.

Wouldn’t it be better to stay peacefully in your house and not wander around the world searching for bread made from something better than wheat, never stopping to think that many people go looking for wool and come back shorn?”

as much as it grieved Sancho not to be in a town, it pleased his master to sleep outdoors, for it seemed to him that each time this occurred it was another act of certification that helped to prove his claim to knighthood.

ANTONIO I know, Olalla, that you adore me though you haven’t told me so, not even with your eyes, in the silent language of love. Since I know that you are clever, that you love me I do claim; for love was ne’er unrequited if it has been proclaimed.

And if service plays a part in making a bosom kind, then those that I have rendered will help to sway your mind. For if you think about it, more than once have I worn the same clothes on a Monday that honored Sunday morn. For love and finery always walk hand in hand, and in your eyes I wish always to seem gallant.

Sancho did as he was ordered, and when one of the goatherds saw the wound, he told him not to worry, for he would give him a remedy that would heal it right away. And after picking some rosemary leaves, which grew there in abundance, he chewed them and mixed them with a little salt, and applied them to Don Quixote’s ear and bandaged it carefully, assuring him that no other medicine was needed, which was the truth.

And I want to tell you now who this girl is, because you ought to know; maybe, and maybe there’s no maybe about it, you won’t hear anything like it in all your born days, even if you live to be as old as my mouth sores.” “You mean Methuselah,” replied Don Quixote, unable to tolerate the goatherd’s confusion of words. “My mouth sores last a good long time,” Pedro responded, “and if, Señor, you keep correcting every word I say, we won’t finish in a year.”

“This body, Señores, that you look at with pitying eyes, was the depository of a soul in which heaven placed an infinite number of its gifts. This is the body of Grisóstomo, who was unique in intelligence, unequaled in courtesy, inimitable in gallantry, peerless in friendship, faultless in generosity, serious without presumption, merry without vulgarity, and, finally, first in everything it means to be good and second to none in everything it means to be unfortunate. He loved deeply and was rejected; he adored and was scorned; he pleaded with a wild beast, importuned a piece of marble, pursued the wind, shouted in the desert, served ingratitude, and his reward was to fall victim to death in the middle of his life, which was ended by a shepherdess whom he attempted to immortalize so that she would live on in memory, which could have been clearly shown in those papers you see there if he had not ordered them committed to the fire when his body had been committed to the earth.”

for it is neither just nor correct to carry out the will of someone whose orders go against all reasonable thought. You would not think so highly of Caesar Augustus if he had agreed to carry out what the divine Mantuan had ordered in his will.2 And so, Señor Ambrosio, although you surrender your friend’s body to the ground, do not surrender his writings to oblivion; if he gave the order as an aggrieved man, it is not proper for you to carry it out like a foolish one.

“I do not come, O Ambrosio, for any of the causes you have mentioned,” Marcela responded, “but I return here on my own behalf to explain how unreasonable are those who in their grief blame me for the death of Grisóstomo, and so I beg all those present to hear me, for there will be no need to spend much time or waste many words to persuade discerning men of the truth. Heaven made me, as all of you say, so beautiful that you cannot resist my beauty and are compelled to love me, and because of the love you show me, you claim that I am obliged to love you in return. I know, with the natural understanding that God has given me, that everything beautiful is lovable, but I cannot grasp why, simply because it is loved, the thing loved for its beauty is obliged to love the one who loves it.

At this point the concoction took effect, and the poor squire began to erupt from both channels, and with so much force that the reed mat on which he lay, and the canvas blanket that covered him, could not be used again.

At this moment it seems that either because of the cold of the morning, which was approaching, or because Sancho had eaten something laxative for supper, or because it was in the natural order of things—which is the most credible—he felt the urge and desire to do what no one else could do for him,

asking that of us is like asking pears of an elm tree.”

“Well, well!” said Sancho. “Are you saying that Lorenzo Corchuelo’s daughter, also known as Aldonza Lorenzo, is the lady Dulcinea of Toboso?”

But, thinking it over carefully, what good does it do Aldonza Lorenzo, I mean, the lady Dulcinea of Toboso, if all those vanquished by your grace are sent and will be sent to kneel before her? Because it might be that when they arrive she’s out raking flax, or on the threshing floor, and they’ll run away when they see her, and she’ll laugh and get angry at the present.”

Let each man say what he chooses; if because of this I am criticized by the ignorant, I shall not be chastised by the learned.”

And hastily he pulled off his breeches and was left wearing only his skin and shirttails, and then, without further ado, he kicked his heels twice, turned two cartwheels with his head down and his feet in the air, and revealed certain things; Sancho, in order not to see them again, pulled on Rocinante’s reins and turned him around, satisfied and convinced that he could swear his master had lost his mind. And so we shall let him go on his way until his return, which did not take long.

because love has no better minister for carrying out his desires than opportunity: he makes use of opportunity in everything he does, especially at the beginning. I know this very well, more from experience than from hearsay, and one day I’ll tell you about it, Señora, for I’m also young and made of flesh and blood. Besides, Señora Camila, you would not have given yourself or surrendered so quickly if you had not first seen in Lotario’s eyes, words, sighs, promises, and gifts all his soul, or not seen in it and its virtues how worthy Lotario was of being loved. If this is true, do not allow those qualms and second thoughts to assault your imagination, but be assured that Lotario esteems you as you esteem him, and live contented and satisfied that although you were caught in the snare of love, it is he who tightens it around you with his admiration and esteem.

He not only has the four Ss2 that people say good lovers need to have, but a whole alphabet as well;

and though I, moved by a false and idle taste, have read the beginning of almost every one that has ever been published, I have never been able to read any from beginning to end, because it seems to me they are all essentially the same, and one is no different from another. In my opinion, this kind of writing and composition belongs to the genre called Milesian tales,5 which are foolish stories meant only to delight and not to teach, unlike moral tales, which delight and teach at the same time.

Although the principal aim of these books is to delight, I do not know how they can, being so full of so many excessively foolish elements;

They spent a good part of the night in this and other exchanges like it, until Sancho felt the desire to drop the gates of his eyes, as he said when he wanted to sleep,

“For someone who’s so badly wounded,” said Sancho Panza, “this young man certainly talks a lot; they should make him stop his courting and pay attention to his soul, which in my opinion is more on his tongue than between his teeth.”

furthermore, laws are now being enacted that will protect and assist old and crippled soldiers, because it is not right that they be treated the way blacks are treated who are emancipated and freed when they are old and can no longer serve, and are thrown out of the house and called free men, making them slaves to hunger from which only death can liberate them.

“Boy, boy,” said Don Quixote in a loud voice, “tell your story in a straight line and do not become involved in curves or transverse lines, for to get a clear idea of the truth, one must have proofs and more proofs.”

The bread they bake here is as good as in France, and at night every cat is gray, and the person who hasn’t eaten by two in the afternoon has more than enough misfortune, and no stomach’s so much bigger than any other that it can’t be filled, as they say, with straw and hay,3 and the little birds of the field have God to protect and provide for them, and four varas of flannel from Cuenca will warm you more than four of limiste4 from Segovia, and when we leave this world and go into the ground, the path of the prince is as narrow as the laborer’s, and the pope’s body doesn’t need more room underground than the sacristan’s, even if one is higher than the other, because when we’re in the grave we all have to adjust and shrink or they make us adjust and shrink, whether we want to or not, and that’s the end of it. And I say again that if your ladyship doesn’t want to give me the ínsula because I’m a fool, I’ll be smart enough not to care at all;

If you follow these precepts and rules, Sancho, your days will be long, your fame eternal, your rewards overflowing, your joy indescribable; you will marry your children as you wish, they and your grandchildren will have titles, you will live in peace and harmony with all people, and in the final moments of your life, in a gentle and ripe old age, the moment of your death will come and the tender, delicate hands of your great-great-grandchildren will close your eyes.

And your grace knows very well that the fool knows more in his own house than the wise man does in somebody else’s.”

“Señor,” replied Sancho, “if your grace believes I’m not worthy of this governorship, I’ll let it go right now, for I care more for a sliver of nail from my soul than I do for my whole body, and just plain Sancho will get by on bread and onions as well as the governor does on partridges and capons; besides, everyone’s equal when they sleep, the great and the small, the poor and the rich; and if your grace thinks about it, you’ll see that it was you alone who gave me the idea of governing, because I don’t know any more about the governorships of ínsulas than a vulture; if you think the devil will carry me off because I’m a governor, I’d rather go to heaven as Sancho than to hell as a governor.” “By God, Sancho,” said Don Quixote, “simply because of the last words that you have said I judge you worthy of being the governor of a thousand ínsulas: you have a good nature, and without that no learning is worthwhile; commend yourself to God and try not to wander from your first purpose; I mean that you should always have the firm and steady intention of doing the right thing in everything that happens to you, because heaven always favors virtuous desires. And now let us go to dinner, for I believe the duke and duchess are waiting for us.”

the reason is that simple medicines are always more highly esteemed than compound ones, everywhere and by everyone, because there can be no error in simple medicines, but there can be in compound ones, simply by changing the amounts of the things of which they are compounded;

And having said this, he kissed her right hand and held it in his own, and she did the same, with the same ceremony. Here Cide Hamete offers an aside and says that, by Mohammed, he would give the better cloak of two that he owns to see them holding and grasping each other as they walked from the door to the bed.

And this doctor says about himself that he doesn’t cure diseases when they’ve arrived but prevents them so they won’t come, and the medicines he uses are diet and more diet until the person’s nothing but skin and bones, as if being skinny weren’t a worse ailment than having a fever.

I’d rather eat my fill of gazpacho than suffer the misery of a brazen doctor who starves me to death, and I’d rather lie down in the shade of an oak tree in summer and wrap myself in an old bald sheepskin in winter, in freedom, than lie between linen sheets and wear sables, subject to a governorship.

Every sheep with its mate, and let no man stretch his leg farther than the length of the sheet, and now let me pass, it’s getting late.”

Sancho said he wanted no more than a little barley for his donkey, and half a cheese and half a loaf of bread for himself; since the way was so short, there was no need for more or better provisions. Everyone embraced him, and he, weeping, embraced all of them, and he left them marveling not only at his words but at his decision, which was so resolute and intelligent.

“You know very well, O Sancho Panza, my neighbor and friend, how the proclamation and edict that His Majesty issued against those of my race brought terror and fear to all of us; at least, I was so affected, I think that even before the time granted to us for leaving Spain had expired, I was already imagining that the harsh penalty had been inflicted on me and my children. And so I arranged, as a prudent man, I think, and as one who knows that by a certain date the house where he lives will be taken away and he’ll need to have another one to move into, I arranged, as I said, to leave the village alone, without my family, and find a place where I could take them in comfort and without the haste with which others were leaving; because I saw clearly, as did all our elders, that those proclamations were not mere threats, as some were saying, but real laws that would be put into effect at the appointed time;

In short, it was just and reasonable for us to be chastised with the punishment of exile: lenient and mild, according to some, but for us it was the most terrible one we could have received. No matter where we are we weep for Spain, for, after all, we were born here and it is our native country; nowhere do we find the haven our misfortune longs for, and in Barbary and all the places in Africa where we hoped to be received, welcomed, and taken in, that is where they most offend and mistreat us. We did not know our good fortune until we lost it, and the greatest desire in almost all of us is to return to Spain;

and it’s only right that people who receive a benefit should show that they are grateful, even if it’s with trifles. In fact, I came into the governorship naked, and I left it naked, and so I can say with a clear conscience, which is no small thing: ‘Naked I was born, and I’m naked now: I haven’t lost or gained a thing.’”

the bold and clever Altisidora

If you ever trim your corns, may the blood spurt from the wounds, and if you have your molars pulled may they break off at the roots. Cruel Vireno, fugitive Aeneas, May Barabbas go with you; you belong with him.”

Chapter LXVI Which recounts what will be seen by whoever reads it, or heard by whoever listens to it being read

this word albogues is Moorish, as are all those in our Castilian tongue that begin with al, for example: almohaza, almorzar, alhombra, alguacil, alhucema, almacén, alcancía,7 and other similar words; our language has only three that are Moorish and end in the letter i, and they are borceguí, zaquizamí, and maravedí.8 Alhelí and alfaquí,9 as much for their initial al as for the final i, are known to be Arabic.