The F*ck It Diet: Eating Should Be Easy

by Caroline Dooner

You read this and think, THIS IS IT! Finally, a way to get rid of my cravings. I’m so sick of being hungry. You get rid of everything in your kitchen, you stock up on the allowed foods, and you start devotedly eating exactly what they prescribe, getting a little adrenaline high every day that you successfully stick to the rules. You’re so excited to have finally found this scientific and ancient diet that will take away your weak, human desire for food. You have been so frustrated with your hungry humanity that you are willing to do anything to be less of a burden to society with the space you take up. You devote three extremely committed months to this scientifically proven way of eliminating your body fat and your cravings and . . . voilà! It goes so well! You are toned, energetic, and as happy as ever, eating your perfectly portioned, perfect food. You start forgetting to eat and consider becoming a robot who only needs to take pellets occasionally. The best part is that all your relationships flourish because, now that you don’t need food, you are so personable. Everyone loves you even more than they did before, and they all want you in their lives. You go out to lunch with friends and just smile at them while they eat and you think about how great your life is. Everyone thinks you are funny and beautiful and perfect and they wish they could be more like you. You also become rich and you’re never, ever bored.

💯💯💯💯💯💯

The irony is that restriction and dieting cause a very real food addiction that cannot be cured with more dieting and more restriction. We are physiologically and psychologically wired to be food addicts when our bodies sense there isn’t ample food. It’s chemical and hormonal and completely inescapable.

You cannot tell a person’s habits by looking at them. Many fat people are actively on a diet—as they are constantly told to be—and they are trying and failing to lose weight. You just can’t tell from looking at a person.