Staring at the Sun: overcoming the dread of death

by Irvin D. Yalom

The effective therapist should never try to force some area of content: therapy should not be theory-driven but relationship-driven.

it is the synergy of “ideas-plus-relationship” that creates real therapeutic power.

For a century, psychotherapy clinicians and teachers have realized that it is not primarily theory or ideas, but the relationship that heals.

improvement in therapy was associated with a triad of therapist behaviors: genuineness, accurate empathy, and unconditional positive regard.

In my work with clients, I strive for connectedness above all else. To that end, I am resolved to act in good faith: no uniforms or costumes; no parading

of diplomas, professional degrees, and awards; no pretense of knowledge I do not possess; no denying that existential dilemmas strike home for me as well; no refusal to answer questions; no hiding behind my role; and, finally, no concealing my own humanness and my own vulnerabilities.

greater focus on the here-and-now and greater therapist self-disclosure.