More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
She invites us all to get straight to it, gets to her most intimate and vulnerable places, but you don’t even realize you’re going there because of how she dances with language, and she invites her readers to do the same. You’ll find yourself adopting Phoebe’s phrases because they truly make life more fun to live but also because they make it easier to hold, at the same time, the insane complexities of this world while also just giving a little eye-roll, a shoulder-shrug, and laughing that shit off.
There was Carrie Fisher (White Jesus, why?), Prince (Black Jesus, why?), George Michael (Levi Jeans Jesus, I can’t), and David Bowie (Alien Jesus aka the feathers from Björk’s swan dress at the 2001 Oscar ceremony, <squawk, blergh, blop>—because y’all know Björk and anything in Björk’s universe only communicates through sound).
did not try very hard not to be utterly inappropriate mere days after Bowie’s death.
Suggesting there might be pictures of pets at the end of this search is the visual equivalent of a coworker telling you there are cookies in the break room.
Everyone is garbage. Everyone. I don’t care how great or altruistic or insanely talented a person is, there is something (or, if we’re being honest here, some things) absolutely ridiculous that they do, think, feel, or say. Repeat after me: No one on this planet can completely rid themselves of their trash ways.
“okay” is not a state of settling (aka ordering Sprite at Wahlburgers, but all they have is Fresca and you’re like, “Sure, I guess”—see also: dining at Wahlburgers in the first place); “okay” is a state of acceptance and then pushing forward
the definition of a champagne problem.
Well, fuck compliance. I repeat: FUCK. COMPLIANCE.
“STFU, listen, and go read a book”
isn’t the fact that I never fully believed Trump could be number 45 a sign that my stubbornness and naïveté prevented me from seeing America for what it truly is? Yes, but that’s not entirely my fault.
Knowing you can act a fool because you’re well respected in the workplace so no one will call you out—that is abuse of power.
Makes ya wish you could nominate some dudes for vasectomies the way you can nominate a coworker for Employee of the Month, doesn’t it?
But what is really troubling about fauxminists is that their feminism is not only conditional (meaning they’re for it unless what is being asked of them threatens their way of thinking and living), but it’s also infused with patriarchal toxicity, so their big takeaway from feminism is not about equality and rights for all but that women should finally be allowed to behave as badly as men have for centuries. Hell no! I have no interest in having my turn to take a dump on progress. I want to elevate a room when I walk in it, not just keep it the same as it’s always been. I want the world to be
...more
Some days are peppered with moments of feeling bad for taking up space or having an opinion,
The days of me behaving and believing that my life is an imposition on others is over. And I want that to be true for every woman alive. We belong here, society, so get used to it, or you can take your sorry ass home.
We know that any time we’re in a predominantly male industry, harassment is done to test us, to make us feel insecure, to throw us off our game, and to challenge our strength. But other times, it’s done because a dude is a motherfuckin’ creep.
in that moment, I couldn’t overpower what society had conditioned in me.
Harassment is not designed to be temporary; it’s intended to stay with you, keep you in line, never allow you to fully relax and be calm. That way the perpetrator doesn’t even have to do the work of oppressing you. You’ll inadvertently do the work for him long after he’s forgotten what he’s done.
simply because I’m a woman, I’m not afforded the baseline of respect as a coworker that’s afforded male comics. I have to earn it, and by “it,” I mean my humanity. That’s fucking ridiculous.
If you don’t think it’s appropriate to invade another man’s space, then you don’t a woman’s. Or, in other words, if you’re not putting your hand on the small of Chris Christie’s back when trying to walk through Buffalo Wild Wings, then keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers. #RizzoHadBars.
please do not launch into a pop quiz, especially since it’s not to help me pass a class but to validate me in the eyes of a nonfactor in my life who is under the misconception that I care about his judgment.
Sir, they, not you, won the championship as they play on the team and you do not.
I want everyone to move through the world constantly arming themselves with knowledge that can benefit their lives and, more importantly, can help change the life of someone else.
Being single is rough stuff on occasion, and the worst thing about it is other people. More specifically, getting to know other people is the true bummer in the summer.
How patronizing and self-absorbed of him to think that I need or will only feel relief if I receive external reinforcement from a guy I barely know;
Ain’t nobody got time for you to be stuttering like Roger Daltrey when he sings “My Generation.” Haha. That is the most old-ass reference I could use. This is what happens when you’ve had a white bae and gone to hockey games.
we can cut the shit at a certain point. No one has a passion for an entry-level admin position; they have a passion for not living in their parents’ basement like a bridge troll in the children’s tale Three Billy Goats Gruff.
“See, ladies, you can be successful, but you won’t be happy.” That lie is used to keep us in check
