Made for Friendship: The Relationship That Halves Our Sorrows and Doubles Our Joys

by Drew Hunter

When we remember how God speaks to all who are in Christ—with sheer, undeserved kindness, encouraging us with the strength of his love and the hope of his promises—how then should we speak to one another? As we receive God’s kindhearted speech to us, we’ll begin replacing friendly fire with something truly friendly.

Destroying Friendship with a Whisper Finally, avoid gossip. Like a strong tower, a friendship can take years to build. And Proverbs says that it can...

Gossip destroys friendship because it destroys trust, and trust is the foundation of friendship. If I can’t trust a friend, I’m not going to

open up anymore. I’m going to shut the door of transparency and turn the deadbolt. If I know that anything I tell someone may make its way to everyone else, I’m not going to share it. We

The Soil of Self All of these weeds find nourishment in the soil of self-focus. We speak and act inconsiderately when we don’t pay attention to the emotions

of others. We cause strife when we care more about self-expression than a peaceful relationship. We spread a bad report about someone because we care more about advancing our own reputation than damaging our friend’s.

Our hearts default to a posture of self-focus. I instinctively place myself at the center of my relationships. I tend to think about how others have wronged me––how they have been inconsiderate, have expressed anger, or have gossiped about me. In truth, though, the roots of these weeds find fertile soil in my own soul as well. If we mainly think about the weeds that others need to uproot, an...

how they have failed us, rather than how we have failed them—is self-centered, and it will produce weeds. In order to cultivate true friendship, then, we must cultivate a posture of repentance. And as we do this, we’ll also give our friends grace. Because if we need our friends to be perfect friends, we will become terrible friends. Conclusion In the end, the best advice for cultivating friendship is not to find a better friend but to become one. And we do it by embracing this wisdom, putting in ...

of friendship. What if every great friendship tapped into some greater reality of friendship? What if we found out that friendship is the meaning of the universe, and that God, as a great Friend, is restoring true friendship to the world? What if we could view all our feeble attempts at cultivating frien...

Questions for Reflection and Discussion 1. If someone looked at how you spent your time last week (where you were, what you did, who you spent time with), what five things would they conclude are most imp...

2. What is one practical way that you will pursue more face-to-face time with friends? What is one rhythm that you want to establish in order to get more side-by-side time with friends? 3. From the suggestions about finding friendship around the table, what is one friendship rhythm you can plan to add to your life right now? 4. Who in your life has modeled oxygen-giving affirmation and encouragement? What are a few ways they encourage people that you want to imitate...