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If Shane found someone else, that’s how I wanted him to leave me behind. Joyfully. Even if it cut me to shreds.
“You were my wife’s best friend. My dead wife. Do you get that? I look at you and I don’t see Katie who drove me nuts when we were kids, or Katie who was Rachel’s best friend. I see Kate, the woman who can take me hard then fucking begs for more. That’s not okay. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?”
I hated that Kate had taken up any spare place in my head, leaking into everything.
Things were changing, and they had been for a while.
I wanted to be nothing. I wanted to find my blank spot and stay there so that my chest didn’t feel like it was breaking open each time I inhaled. If not for the baby nestled below my heart, I’m not sure what I would have done to find that place.
He sighed and scooted his body forward until he was spooning me. “I don’t want to sleep without you anymore.”
I’d promised her that she’d never have to forgive me again if she could do it one last time.
I didn’t know how to be with someone like Kate. She’d demand more from me than anyone ever had before, and that was terrifying.
We were at a stalemate, both aching for the same thing, but unable to reach it.
Whatever reservations I’d had completely vanished. I loved her.
“Sometimes I think I would have always found my way back to you,” Shane said quietly as he stretched out next to me.