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Sometimes the lack of sound is more painful than the anguished noise of a heart breaking.
“I didn’t want you then, I don’t want you now,” I said, watching detachedly as her chest heaved with silent sobs. She was staring at my chest, refusing to meet my eyes, and that pissed me off even more. “You were a lousy fuck, Kate. I won’t be back for seconds.”
The fear that I wouldn’t love Kate’s child the way I loved the others. The fear that I’d feel nothing.
“You and me are never going to happen, Kate. Okay? I’m not sure what you’re thinking, if you thought we’d just be one big happy family or something, but we won’t. You’re not Rachel. You’re just not, and you’re nice, but I don’t feel that way about you.”
Then I realized Kate had quietly left without eating any of the comfort food she’d been so excited about, and I felt like the biggest dick on the planet.
“Your lips are already red, and when you smile, I swear people can’t help but smile back. It’s contagious.”
It had always been Kate. My hands shook as the truth seeped into my pores. It had been her since I was just a stupid kid.
“I hate you,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “I wish you were dead because then I could have my children back.” I stumbled away from the bed, horrified, and watched as she fell asleep as if I’d never even been there. Jesus Christ, what had I done?
“You were never a doormat, Katie,” he said seriously, turning around before I was ready. “You were—you just loved me.”
For the first time in my life, I wanted to take on more so that she would have less to do.
I’d pushed her aside for so long that there was no foundation to build on. Just a mess of shattered pieces that I’d crushed with a sledgehammer every time she’d grown closer than I was comfortable with.
“I want to dance with my woman.” “Your woman?” I snorted. “My baby-mama?” he asked with a small chuckle. “That works.”
“Marry me,” he whispered hoarsely, searching my eyes as he placed his hand over mine and I felt his Adam’s apple bob. “Be my wife.” “Yes.”
