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“There’s a Monroe in my bed, and it’s not the one I’m fuckin’.”
My chest constricts. “You’re not mine, Kens,” I gently tell her, pain I didn’t mean to show clear as day. “And that’s a problem for me.”
We’re gonna take the bad and replace it. I wanna erase the bad with a good.”
She is, without a doubt, everything I could ever want. Kind and gentle but spunky with a splash of sass. She smiles with her heart and hurts with all she is. She’s more than I ever knew a person could be. She’s the light I’ve never known but now crave.
“Kalani whooped that ass.” “Lolli,” Nate corrects on a growl. Mason winks at him.
“We all have hard days, Kens. We all have weak moments, but you have to find your strength and reach for it.”
I’ve never been the partier—I prefer to keep to myself really—but from tonight forward, I’ll give them what they need.
“You know you could tell me to go away for a minute, so you two can talk, right?” Nate grumbles with his eyes still closed.
Lolli laughs, smiling at me. “Yeah, I know. But you’re not exactly known for taking orders. You’d say no and give me that sexy-ass don’t test me, baby frown you’ve perfected, and then I’d get distracted.”
“Always got my back, don’t you?” “I’ve got your all, Hero. Always. What hurts you hurts me.”
“Fourth down, five seconds on the clock. Offense is down by a touchdown. No choice but to go for a pass. What’s the safety gonna do?” I inhale deeply, feeling a flare of possibility light inside me. “Interception time.” “Damn straight.” “This is the bad choice.” “It’s the only choice.”
QUEEN LOLLIIIIII
“Because I see you in her eyes, just like you saw Nate in mine.”
Well, I’m done standing here, watching her crumble. She falls; I fall. Might as well fall into each other.
Defense. That’s what Lolli called it. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Because, when it comes to Kenra Monroe, I’ve always been defenseless.
“Every time you’ve ever been in my arms, from four years ago to five minutes ago, every damn time … it means something to me. You mean something to me.”
Happiness is a choice.
“Lolli, you didn’t used to do feelings. That was pre-Nate. Now, you’re like a real girl.” Her jaw drops, and she gasps, making me laugh harder.
Bad happened to me, yes, but not because of who I was or wasn’t.
Took me two weeks to fall for her and took me a year to get her to trust me enough to show her. I would give up everything I have for her without a second thought. Instantly. Always.”
Everything reverts back to Parker. When I’m angry in my life, I think of him. When I’m sad, it’s because I’ve thought of him. When I’m happy, it’s because he’s on my mind.
“Push you? Fight for you? Fucking beg you? Because I will, and I am.
“You got my family in your hands.” Respect. That’s what Deaton just earned in one sentence.
There’s a shine to his eyes I’ve never seen, a cover of hopeful wishing. Complete and total vulnerability. He’s given everything to me. Literally, his heart is in my hands. I feel it.
“You leave here; I break. You don’t come back; I shatter. You live unhappy, unloved, and underappreciated, and I fucking die inside, Kenra. Please. Don’t go.”
And I will. Because I’m her safety. And I’ll be her defense, protect her from anyone who gets in her—in our—zone even if I have to protect her from herself.
While Lolli’s face doesn’t change, there’s a flare in her eyes at that. “You come within a state of him, and I’ll flip your life upside down without thinking twice. You wanna play with no rules, lady? Fine. I’m game.”
I lie back, stare at the ceiling, and refuse to accept an ending that doesn’t give me my nightingale.
She’s the most selfless, big-hearted, beautiful woman I have ever known. She’s more than I deserve but all I want. She was there for me when no one else cared to be, heard me when no one else would. She gave me hope. Made me believe there was more when all I felt was emptiness.
