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I follow him as he presses into the crowd and makes his way to the bar. I wonder what would happen if I stopped walking, if I let the crowd fill up the space between us. Would he notice? Would he wade back to find me? Or would he keep going, because forward is his destination and I am not?
Most lives are long, and most pain is short. Hearts don’t actually break; they always keep beating.
Taylor is a boy, and you are my best friend. Taylor is a date, and you are my calendar. Understood?”
No son of mine, Lord. No son of mine! Beat beat beat You try to beat it out of me Belt it out of me Heartless heart Beat beating You think you can bruise me Out of being Bruise it out of me When you belt it beat it Try to break it— Break the thing you cannot break Because I carry it so deep inside No beat of yours no belt of yours Will ever come close. You try to beat it out of me Belt it out of me Belt me into buckling Beat me into heartstopping Stophurting Trying so hard You say you’ll kill me to save me Kill the me inside of me Beat it belt it but it Just won’t budge. Not for you. I know
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We were swimming downstream, always. We were all scales and fins, all gleaming in the sun, all carefree and careless. We never had to try hard or even try at all. You and me, me and you, and the water, and the sun. Or, no. What we really were, were twins. The kind that feel it when the other is cold. The kind that always hears two heartbeats instead of one. Pinch me and you’d say ouch. Or maybe I imagined all of it: the water, the sun, even our scales and fins. Maybe it was just circumstance and nothing profound or anomalous or even unusual, the way you’d eat a strawberry and I’d say yum.
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Hiding and denying and being afraid is no way to treat love. Love demands bravery.
