You Know Me Well

by Nina LaCour

“Even though there are no true beginnings in life—there’s always something that came before—there are definitely moments that feel like a beginning, and it’s always good to stop and take a second to enjoy them.

Most lives are long, and most pain is short. Hearts don’t actually break; they always keep beating. This is not to diminish what you’re going through, but I’ve been there, and I’ve been through it. As that famous homosexual Winston Churchill once said, if you find yourself heartbroken, keep walking.”

“If you find yourself in hell, keep walking. That seems to be the theme of the night.” She says, “Could be. Or maybe, if you think you’re in hell, open your eyes. What you see may surprise you.”

Blue and pink make mud, make dirt, make rock. I am mud, I am dirt, I am rock. I am nature, a force of nature. I am the color that remains when everything else is washed away. I am the color of the ground you walk on, the ground that keeps you from falling. I am elemental, essential, and that has as much color as any rainbow.

There is something powerful about the shedding of comfort. There is something intense about feeling that person push, knowing that the force behind it is the force of their caring, of their genuine belief that the push will get you to a better place.

“The heart is a treacherous beast.” “But it means well.”

I look at Katie and know that sometimes it isn’t all that hard, that sometimes you can just fall into step with someone and keep pace for a good long time.

Is this a museum tour?” “It’s just a habit, I guess. It’s always easy to find the museums, and that way you’re guaranteed something good to look at.”

We walked through the future and felt we were borrowing it.

I am alone, yes. But I am a part of this. I am a part of everything. I feel it—I’ve been living in a world, but what I have is a universe.

Hiding and denying and being afraid is no way to treat love. Love demands bravery.