The Traitor Baru Cormorant (The Masquerade, #1)

by Seth Dickinson

Later, just as she would hate herself for her calculation, she would remember: This was my first exercise of power. My first treason.

It’s not what the Masquerade does to you that you should fear, she wanted to tell Ake. It’s what the Masquerade convinces you to do to yourself.

Everything she most wanted in this instant would destroy everything she had most wanted for all the rest of her life.

“Every moment is an edict spoken by its past. The past is the real tyranny.”

More than anything else in the universe, more than the power to dictate law at Taranoke, more than the knowledge of the count of stars in the sky, Baru wanted in that moment to speak the truth.

Oathsfire, Baru thought. Oathsfire, you idiot, you bearded ass, start shooting— “Oathsfire,” Xate Olake grunted, “you stupid fuck—”

Lmaoooo i love this

Fuck them, Baru thought. Fuck them. They can all burn. I will destroy myself if I choose. On this one day I will not deny what I am.

What she tried to tell herself was: when this is finished, I will remake the world so that no woman will ever have to do this again.

Good-bye, she thinks. Good-bye, kuye lam. I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood.