My Squirrel Days: Tales from the Star of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and The Office

by Ellie Kemper

As a reasonably talented person who is also part fraud, I cannot praise highly enough the virtues of enthusiasm and tenacity as substitutes for finely honed skills or intensive training.

Why being a mom is hard, but trying to remain rational while hungry is even harder.

Write like your parents are dead. Free yourself from any harnesses or constraints that are keeping you from telling your truth. And do not worry about whether you are doing the right thing or the wrong thing. Just be honest.

I would later come to see that sometimes people are intimidated by that of which they are envious.

I guess that sometimes it just takes a year of having no real direction or consistent sunlight for the fiery heart to let its passions be known.

As someone who is frightened of anyone else not being positively delighted at all times, I live in a near-constant state of fear that I have accidentally offended the person with whom I am communicating.

As an American, I hold many things dear: liberty, free speech, a “seems good enough to me” work ethic.

Blisters and blood prove that you actually did something.

Nobody ever reached a deeper spiritual level by having a nice time.

Always take the free breakfast.

I can’t stop eating dead batteries just because there is a slight “risk” to my life. I have to be who I am.

Tina joined us a few minutes later, and I told her that her hair was gorgeous. Actually, what I said was, “You have great hair—really strong and thick!” That is what I said. To Elizabeth Stamatina Fey.

advice booth à la Lucy from Peanuts. She shows you how a person should behave by being the person who behaves.