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Napoleon and Helen Keller are perfect illustrations of Milton’s statement: Napoleon had everything men usually crave – glory, power, riches – yet he said at St Helena, ‘I have never known six happy days in my life’; while Helen Keller – blind, deaf, dumb – declared: ‘I have found life so beautiful.’ If half a century of living has taught me anything at all, it has taught me that ‘Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.’
Montaigne, the great French philosopher, adopted these seventeen words as the motto of his life: ‘A man is not hurt so much by what happens, as by his opinion of what happens.’ And our opinion of what happens is entirely up to us.
‘Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.’
‘Thus,’ he explains, ‘the sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness, if your cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there.’
JUST FOR TODAY Just for today I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that ‘most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.’ Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals. Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them. Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding. Just
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Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.
‘Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.’
Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot. That it do singe yourself.
We may not be saintly enough to love our enemies, but, for the sake of our own health and happiness, let’s at least forgive them and forget them.
There is an old saying that a man is a fool who can’t be angry, but a man is wise who won’t be angry.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can never hurt me.
‘I have no time to quarrel, no time for regrets, and no man can force me to stoop low enough to hate him.’
‘No man was to be eulogised for what he did; or censured for what he did or did not do,’ because ‘all of us are the children of conditions, of circumstances, of environment, of education, of acquired habits and of heredity molding men as they are and will forever be.’
‘Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.’
Let’s never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let’s do as General Eisenhower does: let’s never waste a minute thinking about people we don’t like.
Gratitude is a fruit of great cultivation. You do not find it among gross people.’
If we want to find happiness, let’s stop thinking about gratitude or ingratitude and give for the inner joy of giving.
A. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let’s expect it. Let’s remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day – and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got? B. Let’s remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving. C. Let’s remember that gratitude is a ‘cultivated’ trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
I had the blues because I had no shoes, Until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.’
‘Think and Thank.’ Think of all we have to be grateful for, and thank God for all our boons and bounties.
“You can express only what is in your own consciousness.”
Count your blessings – not your troubles!
‘Nobody is so miserable as he who longs to be somebody and something other than the person he is in body and mind.’
If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill, Be a scrub in the valley—but be The best little scrub by the side of the rill; Be a bush, if you can’t be a tree. If you can’t be a bush, be a bit of the grass, And some highway happier make; If you can’t be a muskie, then just be a bass— But the liveliest bass in the lake! We can’t all be captains, we’ve got to be crew, There’s something for all of us here. There’s big work to do and there’s lesser to do And the task we must do is the near. If you can’t be a highway, then just be a trail, If you can’t be the sun, be a star; It isn’t by size that
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Let’s not imitate others. Let’s find ourselves and be ourselves.
‘What lesson can I learn from this misfortune? How can I improve my situation? How can I turn this lemon into a lemonade?’
‘their power to turn a minus into a plus.’
Two men looked out from prison bars, One saw the mud, the other saw the stars.
William James said: ‘Our very infirmities help us unexpectedly.’
Suppose we are so discouraged that we feel there is no hope of our ever being able to turn our lemons into lemonade – then here are two reasons why we ought to try, anyway – two reasons why we have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Reason one: We may succeed. Reason two: Even if we don’t succeed, the mere attempt to turn our minus into a plus will cause us to look forward instead of backward; it will replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts; it will release creative energy and spur us to get so busy that we won’t have either the time or the inclination to mourn over what is past
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The most important thing in life is not to capitalise on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence; and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.
When fate hands us a lemon, let’s try to make lemonade.
“Always remember that it takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight than it does to stay and fight.”
‘You can be cured in fourteen days if you follow this prescription. Try to think every day how you can please some one.’
‘A good deed,’ said the prophet Mohammed, ‘is one that brings a smile of joy to the face of another.’
‘enlightened selfishness.’
Zoroaster said, ‘Doing good to others is not a duty. It is a joy, for it increases your own health and happiness.’
‘When you are good to others,’ said Franklin, ‘you are ...
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‘A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives you roses.’
If we are going ‘to make things better for others’ – as Dreiser advocated – let’s be quick about it. Time is a-wastin’. ‘I shall pass this way but once. Therefore any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show – let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.’
Forget yourself by becoming interested in others. Every day do a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone’s face.
The fact that we don’t understand totally the mysteries of our bodies or electricity or a gas engine doesn’t keep us from using and enjoying them. The fact that I don’t understand the mysteries of prayer and religion no longer keeps me from enjoying the richer, happier life that religion brings. At long last, I realise the wisdom of Santayana’s words: ‘Man is not made to understand life, but to live it.’
‘Anyone who is truly religious does not develop a neurosis.’
William James said approximately the same thing: ‘Faith is one of the forces by which men live,’ he declared, ‘and the total absence of it means collapse.’
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”’
‘Lord, make me an instrument of Thy Peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light. Where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.’
So when you are kicked and criticised, remember that it is often done because it gives the kicker a feeling of importance. It often means that you are accomplishing something and are worthy of attention. Many people get a sense of savage satisfaction out of denouncing those who are better educated than they are or more successful.
Schopenhauer had said it years ago: ‘Vulgar people take huge delight in the faults and follies of great men.’
Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
‘Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticised, anyway. You’ll be “damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”’
