In Shock: My Journey from Death to Recovery and the Redemptive Power of Hope

by Rana Awdish

If the discussion instead begins with, “I’m so sorry that this is the diagnosis, and I know we’ve discussed the prognosis already, and it’s difficult to face. Would it be alright if we talk a bit about how you envision spending your time, from now until whenever the end may be?” One patient may reply, “I want my family to know that I did everything possible to beat this cancer. If there is a clinical trial that gives me a one percent chance of another day, sign me up, I don’t care how rough it is.” Another may say, “I watched my mother die of cancer. The treatment made her so sick, I often wished she had just let go. It’s important to me to be calm and at peace, and not have my family see me suffer.” With the right question, each patient can be given a recommendation that fits their values. This way of questioning, this recommendation built on empathy and a patient-centered narrative, has the potential to heal everyone involved.

How pathetically arrogant that I thought only of how clinically useful the images would be, or how necessary the test. I saw the patients leave and I saw them return, and what happened in between was unknown to me. How thoughtless I had been.