Did I actually want to know the relative tensile strength of varying types of mesh? No, I didn’t. Did I on some level believe that I needed that information in order to make decisions about my surgery? Yes. On some level I believed that I did. But it was never going to work. I was scared. I knew my surgeon had thoughtfully considered each and every option and had chosen a plan that took so many different variables into account that I wasn’t even capable of enumerating what they all were. He is brilliant and trustworthy and thoughtful. But fear doesn’t respond to data.
