Other times, I touch myself thinking about our hallway exchanges, despite your repulsion for me, or worse, because of your repulsion for me. I tell myself that this act is a form of revenge, that this is how I reclaim my power. But when I’m not feeling as confident (or delusional), I’m afraid that this is actually how I express my self-loathing. I’m also afraid of the ways in which the threat of violence from men has shaped, or even damaged, my sexuality. How many sexual desires and fantasies are formed out of potential or actual male violence? Or rather, to what extent is sexuality shaped and
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