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On the hierarchy of harassment, staring is the least violent consequence for my gender nonconformity that I could hope for.
As important as it is to make these incidents visible by reporting them, sensationalizing and digesting these stories is also a form of social control, a reminder that I need to be afraid and to try to be as invisible as possible.
if I make myself the punchline, their laughter will sting less.
Exclamation marks soften my message, modifying my tone so that my words convey the requisite submissiveness to communicate effectively with a man, to avoid agitating or offending him. I am not allowed to be assertive or direct.
