Over the years, I’ve come to expect being groped in gay bars. Complaining about this unwanted touching is often deemed sex-negative, un-queer, or even homophobic. Touching in gay bars is generally seen as an acceptable form of cruising and supposedly pushes against the repressiveness enforced by heterosexism. I’ve also witnessed gay men grabbing women’s breasts many times on the dance floor. When asked to stop, some have responded, “Don’t worry, I’m gay. I’m not into girls.” Not being into girls, however, is sometimes less about sexual preference and more about disdain. Is grabbing women’s
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