Although my mother likely saved my life by sending me away from the dangers of the Budapest ghetto before my first birthday, I experienced the event the only way an infant could: as abandonment. It left me with a permanent core sense that I must never be emotionally open and vulnerable. When Rae, my wife, says no to me or behaves in a way that upsets me, my automatic belief is that I’m being rejected or abandoned by the woman whose love I need, and my mechanical reaction is to detach emotionally, to withdraw. This is a common response of young children who experience emotional or physical
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