In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction

by Gabor Maté

People are susceptible to the addiction process if they have a constant need to fill their minds or bodies with external sources of comfort, whether physical or emotional. That need expresses a failure of self-regulation—an inability to maintain a reasonably stable internal emotional atmosphere. No one is born with the capacity for self-regulation; as I’ve mentioned, the infant is completely dependent upon the parents to regulate his physical and psychological states. Self-regulation being a developmental achievement, we reach it only if the conditions for development are right. Some people never attain it; even in advanced adulthood they must rely on some external support to quell their discomfort and soothe their anxiety. They just cannot make themselves feel okay without such supports, whether they be chemicals or food or an excessive need for attention, approval or love. Or they seek to make their lives exciting by engaging in activities that trigger elation or a sense of risk. A person with inadequate self-regulation becomes dependent on “outside things” to lift his mood and even to calm himself if he experiences too much undirected internal energy.