How to Think Like a Roman Emperor: The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius

by Donald J. Robertson

Anxiety largely consists of the belief, for example, that “something bad is going to happen,”

Anxiety can often be reduced simply by moving the image past the worst point and imagining, in a realistic and noncatastrophic way, what’s most likely to happen in the hours, days, weeks, or months that follow.

“Distancing” refers to the ability to view one’s own thoughts (or beliefs) as constructions of “reality” rather than as reality itself.35

We could look at the world through positive rose-tinted glasses or sad blue ones and just assume that what we see is how things are. However, we can also look at the glasses themselves and realize that they color our vision.

Galen says that Plato explained this well when he said that lovers are typically blind regarding the one they love. As we, in a sense, loves ourselves most of all, we are also most blind with regard to our own faults. The majority of us therefore struggle to attain the self-awareness required to improve our lives.

If the real goal for Stoics is wisdom, then sometimes just blurting out the truth isn’t enough. We have to put more effort into communicating with others effectively.

It’s prudent to listen carefully to most of the people we meet in life but not to give equal weight to all opinions.

we should place more trust in the counsel of individuals who provide us with consistent evidence of their wisdom and virtue.

contemplates the virtues of those who lived with him in order to raise his spirits: the energy of one, the modesty of another, the generosity of a third, and so on.21 Nothing cheers our soul, he says, like the people close to us exhibiting virtue in their lives, and for that very reason we should treasure these examples and keep the memory of them fresh. Writing things down will often make the image more vivid and memorable.

Simply realizing that your desires produce negative results can sometimes change the way you feel and behave.

Think of the pain in your body as if it’s the barking of an angry dog; don’t start barking along with the dog by groaning about your own pain. It’s always within your power to consider the sensation

You might even think of yourself as looking at physical pain or another symptom of illness through a glass window, separating the body from the mind, or imagining the pain as temporarily outside of the body on the other side of the room.

“experiential avoidance,” and it has proven quite toxic to mental health. People who strongly believe that unpleasant feelings are bad and try to suppress them from their minds often become more tense and preoccupied with the very feelings they’re trying to avoid, trapping themselves in a vicious cycle.

We can expect anxiety to abate naturally with repeated exposure, under normal conditions.

There’s a tendency, ironically, for people struggling with anxiety to try too hard to control involuntary aspects of the emotion while neglecting to take control of the voluntary aspects.

Self-monitoring. Spot early warning signs of anger, to nip it in the bud before it escalates. For example, you might notice that your voice begins to change, or that you frown or your muscles tense, when you’re beginning to grow angry, or you may think of someone’s actions as unjust or in violation of a personal rule.

Stoics think of troublesome people as if they are a prescription from a physician, or a training partner we’ve been assigned by a wrestling coach.

to expect bad people not to do bad things is madness because that is wishing for the impossible