How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't

by Lane Moore

Giving yourself permission to hang out with yourself can absolutely be a gift if you can learn to see yourself as an ally, someone who got you through everything so far, whether it was totally alone or not. You know your whole story. You know everything. So believe yourself, validate yourself. Plus, even though movies and TV haven’t accurately nailed the portrayal of this yet, you can have so much fun by yourself. List the things you’d want to do with other people. Go to the museum? Not a doubles activity. Go to a movie? Such a great thing to do alone. Tennis? Play against the wall. Especially if you don’t have friends who make you feel safe and loved and heard and supported and special and great. It’s absolutely better to be by yourself than with someone you don’t even like, or whom you do like but they don’t make you feel super great. Man, the number of times I went to parties I fucking hated with people who were jerks, even though I knew I’d have more fun by myself, even if that fun just meant sitting in a room alone silently is . . . too many times. While most people hate sleeping alone, it’s also important to note that sleeping in a queen- or king-size bed all by yourself is magnificent. Honestly, being able to sleep in any bed all by yourself is pretty fantastic, but in bigger beds you can really try some shit out. What if I slept diagonally so my whole body is across the bed? Ooooh. What if I slept so my head is where my feet should be? Ooooh. Man, I am good at havi...