How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't

by Lane Moore

it is very commonplace for abusive or absent parents, once their (technical) child grows up and becomes successful, to suddenly become Proud Parents! Because they know they can claim you as Theirs now and everyone will believe them. You’re like a basic black suitcase that’s been circling the baggage claim for twenty-five years and they didn’t want you, sneered at what a piece of shit you were, laughed at the idea anyone would have a suitcase that ugly, maybe even kicked you a few times, who knows why, but then the zipper pulled apart and, oh shit, are there diamonds in there? “Excuse me! That’s my suitcase! Yeah, totally was this whole time!” It will never occur to these people that you became the person you became despite them. That you, magical, wonderful, holy shit wow you, took the bag of rotting maggots they gave you and turned it into Disneyland. That you took years of physical, verbal, and/or sexual abuse, neglect, being told you were worthless, being told you were nothing, shown you were nothing, treated like nothing, and somehow, in your own way, you became everything. And our culture lets them swoop in and claim, “Yeah, my kid’s great,” and our brains think, “Wow, this person with a great child must also be great!” because we’re trained to all the time.