I can see now that I used the idea of a soul mate to give myself some sort of parental figure, some sort of protector, someone who was able to see that everything that was happening was not okay, that I deserved more, who could validate everything I was experiencing, since no one around me seemed like they’d be doing any of that any time soon. And if that figure didn’t exist, I would make one up.
this actually led to james im crying
