If Cats Disappeared from the World

by Genki Kawamura

And if I disappeared from the world? Well, I suppose nothing would change at all. Things would probably just go on, day after day … same as usual.

“But there’s one condition, and you must accept this one fundamental law of the universe.” “And that is?” “In order to gain something, you have to lose something.”

“In order to gain something, you have to lose something,” she always said. People are always trying to get something for nothing. But that’s just theft. If you’ve gained something, it means that someone, somewhere, has lost something. Even happiness is built on someone else’s misfortune. She often reminded me of this. In fact, she considered it one of the laws of the universe.

I wonder why people always expect from others things that they themselves can’t or won’t do.

When we had started dating, I just couldn’t imagine our relationship ever ending. I assumed that because I was happy, she must be happy, too. But then a time came when that was no longer the case. Feelings can’t always be mutual. Love tends to fizzle out over time. And even though everyone knows that, it doesn’t stop anyone from falling in love. I guess it’s the same with life. We all know it has to end someday, but even so, we act as if we’re going to live forever. Like love, life is beautiful because it must come to an end.

“What do you want meaning for? Life is about desire, not meaning. Life is a beautiful, magnificent thing, even to a jellyfish.”

If my life were a movie, I’d want it to be memorable in some way, no matter how modest the production was. I’d hope it would mean something to someone, somehow. That it would give them a boost and spur them on. After the credits, life does go on. My hope is that my life will go on to live in the memories of others who’ve witnessed my story.

With freedom comes uncertainty, insecurity, and anxiety. Human beings exchanged their freedom for the sense of security that comes from living by set rules and routines—despite knowing that they pay the cost of these rules and regulations with their freedom.

“Yeah, but just being alive doesn’t mean all that much on its own. How you live is more important.”

“The devil only exists in the hearts and minds of humans, and you can imagine all different kinds of designs.

“So you see, the form I take really depends on your imagination. The devil in your heart looks just like you.”

“So … do you think I turned out okay as I am?” “Well, I’m not exactly the best person to ask about that!” “What I mean is, I wonder if I’ll have any regrets when my time comes.” “Oh, of course you will. You want to live, right? You might even beg the devil to come back once your number is up! Humans tend to regret the life they never lived and the choices they never made.”