But no one should have to choose between becoming a capable, pragmatic handmaiden who tries not to take up too much space and a disorganized dreamer with a bloated ego who steps on everyone’s toes. And I can see now that other people have ego rewards built into their daily lives—meetings, conferences, watercooler talk, accolades, long mutually congratulatory conversations with their peers. As shallow as those things can feel, after years of packing my days with as much efficient work as possible and treating any moment of self-satisfaction as shameful, it’s about time I gazed at a bookshelf
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