I Am More Than My Nightmares

by Jennae Cecelia

how do you ease a heart that never stops racing and knees that never stop shaking, even when asleep?

My mind is anxious, but my soul longs for peace.

All I want is to run freely amongst the wildflowers and the trees. I am tired of running from my anxiety.

Healing isn’t taking the fast lane down the highway. Healing is taking back roads with potholes and dead ends. But I will get there. I will.

I am just trying to be the woman my fifteen-year-old self would have admired.

All she ever wanted was her own love.

Does the earth have anxiety too, that maybe one day she won’t rotate like she used to? Or that her valleys and rivers won’t be cared for?

All I need is to throw my seeds into the wind and trust the universe will have me bloom where I belong.

I see stars as small reminders from the universe that even dark times show specks of light when you really pay attention.

Just watch me grow when I give myself more of my love.

You can appreciate the flowers in someone else’s garden, while still watering your own.

I am an ocean. Are you willing to risk swimming in the deep, dark, parts of me? Or will you stay where it’s shallow?

You are looking at one of her chapters. You don’t know her full story.

Please treat my heart like it is your own.

Self-care is sometimes just waking up, greeting the sun, and telling yourself this is your day.

Your mental health is not a race.

I know it seems like all eyes are on you at times, but sometimes those eyes are just blank stares thinking about their own problems.

Do not fear, the rain is only here to help you grow.

We are just a bunch of broken people wanting to feel put together.