She thought of the girl she was before Paula, a girl waiting for happiness to come upon her the way she had seen it happen to other girls when they grew breasts and fell in love. She’d been waiting for change to come marching toward her like a summer storm across an open field but it had not happened like that. It had come up in an unexpected rush from under her feet. And it had all kept building up into the terror and then ebbing out into the everyday gray of prison life and then just as inexplicably she’d been released and left spinning like a broken compass, seeking, with the old plan as
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