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Because brightening at the sight of a beautiful woman was their birthright. It was what they were supposed to do.
She had the urge to watch Katie while Katie felt unobserved – not in a creepy way, though come to think of it, it was beginning to feel a little creepy.
You want to fuck me you could just ask, but I’ll tell you right now you’re not my type.”
She seemed to really know how to live, to always know what she wanted.
She lived for the agony of doomed erotic collision, for self-sabotage, for I know this is going to hurt but I’m going to do it anyway, in fact that’s why I’m going to do it.
Except that sleeping with Cassidy had been like putting on a pair of glasses. It was impossible now to not review all of her previous relationships through this sharper lens.
that feeling of connection and rightness and always wanting to be with this person–ness
They made each other brave and needed nobody else.
Katie remembered her illogical constant need of them as almost painful, agonizing with the possibility that this time maybe they’d get there, that some anonymous expectation would be filled in such quantity and quality that it would be enough.
She just always wanted them near her.
But then Cassidy had met Katie. And now she couldn’t unmeet her.
Cause our song is a slamming screen door, sneaking out late tapping on your window…’”
her first thought was, Nah, I’m gonna go with this, but you do you.
“Did you ever have girlfriends growing up? I mean, friends who were girls, who you were totally obsessed with? And it seemed like no matter how much time you spent together it was never enough?”
“Like schoolgirl, batshit-crazy obsessed.”
escapade with an acupuncturist who picked her up using the line I can’t wait to get my needles into you.
Caring too much made a person weak. It opened you up to all sorts of vulnerabilities,
For the most part, people meant no harm, just as she meant no harm, and she never held innocent people’s bewilderment against them.
The man was a straight and narrow line – a flat line in the way of a life expiring on a table.
sounding to herself like someone else – and she instantly fell in love with that person.
How terrifying that her own judgment could be so clouded, that she could so utterly convince herself that whatever discomfort she’d felt, whatever doubts she’d had, were simply her own shortcomings to overcome.
Sentimentality gave her the sweats and she preferred digesting her sadness quietly and alone,
the tangible proof they had been there, they existed, they mattered