A Wish For Us

by Tillie Cole

“Music gives a soul to the universe, Wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, And life to everything.” ~ Plato

He was perfect as he told me a story I would never know, yet completely understood.

Her voice was violet blue. I closed my eyes. It was my favorite color to hear.

Only, in this light, I saw the sadness shining through like a beacon. It made me lose a breath.

“Cromwell?” I turned. “What’s your favorite? Your favorite color to see?” I didn’t even think before I spoke the words. “Violet blue.”

I tipped my head up and looked at the treetops. At the birds flying among them and the rustling of the turning leaves. Like summer was changing to fall, I too was losing my sun. A fated leaf, destined to fall.

Something settled in my chest that I hadn’t felt in years. Something I never thought I’d find ever again. Silver. I choked at the sight. Happiness.

“I believe that music should tell a story. I believe that in the notes and melodies there should be some kind of meaning. Music should take you on a journey, crafted by the creator’s heart.”

Obstacles in life sometimes make you look at the world in ways you never did before.”

“Cromwell brooder-of-the-century Dean actually laughed.” She closed her eyes, making my heart fucking melt. “And it was bright yellow.” She opened her eyes. “Like the sun.” “You got synesthesia now?” “No. But I don’t need it. When you laughed . . .” She nudged my arm. “It illuminated the room.” I

This—music—my greatest lost love, only found again thanks to one girl in a purple dress. She was my God-given gift. The girl that brought me back life.

I see the way you look at him.” He sighed, defeated. “And the way he looks at you.” “How?” “Like you’re his air. Like you’re the water to whatever hellfire lives inside him.”

“He brings music to my silent world, East.” I smiled, feeling my chest shimmer. “He plays music for me that says more to my heart than his words ever could.”

I knew I was crying. I could feel the tears drenching my face. But there were no wracking sobs. No shuddering breaths, just a serenity that came with pure happiness. From being moved so profoundly that something shifted inside you. Something that made you understand what perfection truly looked like.

Cromwell Dean was my warmth. The blazing soul that kept mine tethered to this life.

He was my violet blue. My favorite-ever note.

“You . . . Cromwell . . . there’s not a part of us that I regret. Not the beginning . . . not the middle . . . and certainly not the end .

How did you celebrate one child being spared from death only to lose the other in such a devastating way?

Reds and blues, purples and pinks swarmed around me, engulfing me in a cloud. And I let them fall where they lay, my fingers showing me the way. Azure. Peach. Ochre. And violet blue. I would forever chase the violet blue.

Some of us just weren’t meant for this world, Bonnie. And I’m one of them.

I stared up at the stars. As I looked at the vast sky, I felt so small. A simple stitch on the tapestry that was the world.