We long for experiences “of profound connection with others,” he writes, “of deep understanding of natural phenomena, of love, of being profoundly moved by music or tragedy, or doing something new and innovative.” Just as important, we long for esteem and pride, “a self that happiness is a fitting response to.” Implicit in Nozick’s experiment is the idea that happiness should be a by-product, not a goal. Many of the ancient Greeks believed the same. To Aristotle, eudaimonia (roughly translated as “flourishing”) meant doing something productive. Happiness could only be achieved through
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Joy comes from connection and DOING, not from pursuing fleeting pleasures and comforts. You can achieve joy through childrearing, but you can also achieve it through other sources of connection and doing -- building relationships outside of nuclear family, pursuing physical and/or mental challenges (see Shop Class as Soulcraft), connecting with the natural world. You will have more time for these things without children!
