The real surprise to me, however, was the testimony of stay-at-home fathers. Almost to a man, the stay-at-home dads I met in Minnesota described how challenging it was to find a network of compatriots in their brave new role. “The first year, I was incredibly isolated,” a father told his group in a fairly representative moment. “I felt weird about hanging out with other moms. I didn’t feel like I could approach them in the same way. I mean, if my wife were staying at home, she could have. But me . . .” So what did he do? “I was really, reaaaaaally nice to other dads I met at the park.”
This doesn’t surprise. I’ve mused about stay-at-home-dadness and I think this is the biggest discouraging factor. Not so might that there aren’t more men out there, but that the mothers’ circles (formal and informal) would feel so off-limits. Many mothers’ groups do not allow men (which, by the way, for two-father families is a complete blocker)
