what urges do parents later succumb to instead? The most obvious answer I can think of is the urge to yell, an upsetting thought—nothing makes a mother or father feel quite so awful as hollering at the most vulnerable people in their lives. Yet that’s what we do. Jessie confesses it’s what she does, in spite of her enviably mellow disposition. “I’ll yell,” she says, “and then I’ll feel bad that I yelled, and then I’ll feel mad at myself: Why didn’t I get enough sleep?”
I try desperately hard not to yell, mostly because it’s not at all effective, partly because it just teaches children to yell (also undesirable). Either I do it rarely enough or I’m too little self-aware, but I rarely feel guilt over it. But it does feel like I’ve copped out when I do resort to yelling.
