Whiskey in a Teacup: What Growing Up in the South Taught Me About Life, Love, and Baking Biscuits

by Reese Witherspoon

“Well, I’m a lady, and I’m going to handle it like a lady.”

Oh yes! I have said this to myself and to other lady friends. During times of duress! It’s important.

But in my voice that day, I heard all the women I knew growing up in the South—women for whom being a southern lady was a source of confidence and strength in times of trial and a source of joy in good times.

LOVE THE WOMEN OF THE SOUTH

Dorothea always said that it was a combination of beauty and strength that made southern women “whiskey in a teacup.” We may be delicate and ornamental on the outside, she said, but inside we’re strong and fiery. Our famous hospitality isn’t martyrdom; it’s modeling. True southern women treat everyone the way we want to be treated: with grace and respect—no matter where they come from or how different from you they may be. Dorothea taught me to never abide cruelty or injustice. The Golden Rule, she said, applies to everyone.

This is THE example for our times ! thank you Dorothea!

But my mother and grandmother and their friends taught me that finding pleasure at home—whether in a family dinner or a book club or a backyard barbecue—can give us the strength to go out into the world and do incredible things.

A wonderful way to look at “home” as a sanctuary.

Still, now that I’ve seen the world, you know where I’m happiest? In the South.

Raised in Alabama I was blessed to have seen the world also. Living in Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Miami, Minneapolis, New Jersey, Seattle, and finally back to Atlanta and Decatur, Ga. I missed the South the whole time I was away. I especially missed it when I had to explain and or apologize for my motives for bringing food to class to my fellow students,( we were a long walk across campus for lunch) dressing in dresses, being friendly, smiling. Giving gifts. going to church, decorating my trees out front for Easter and hugging. (hugging in Seattle got very strange looks). I missed someone coming up and grabbing me and saying “Sugar! Lemme hug your neck!” And reveling in having myself hugged and loved! I so appreciate the kindness and trueness of the South.

That said, if you are looking for a how-to, self-help bible . . . this ain’t it. I love a good party, but I don’t have a ton of free time, so when it comes to shortcuts and good-enough-ing, I have been there and store-bought that.

Just a great note on the impossible demands of today! With a sense of humor! I do think the South has a sense of humor! It makes me laugh “been there store bought that. “ it brings out the practically of life, while not losing sight of how deeply connected people of the south are, building community is more important than the dish!

Benn there and store bought that!

life in the South: people drop by. And it’s the law of the land that if someone shows up at your door, you have to offer them something to eat or drink.

Oh yes! Don’t you want to give your guests refreshments? I was always shocked in the beginning of life abroad to find the lack of this small nicety in many places.

think a lot of people suspect that all women do at salons is complain about their husbands or gossip. The truth is that they talk about everything. How do they want to change the world? What do they want to do with their lives? What are their big dreams and goals? What are their disappointments in life?

One historical note that I just love: When the suffragettes were marching, at one point they started wearing red lipstick so they would all be wearing the same bold color and stand in solidarity with one another. I love how this little thing many women had in their purses became a powerful political symbol. It’s a reminder that we don’t have to diminish ourselves as women to be seen as strong. You can push for societal change and you can love getting dressed up. You don’t have to choose.

Right on sister! I love dressing nicely! For every occasion.

It’s like the opposite of what they call an Irish goodbye or French exit. A proper southern goodbye can take hours.

“WALKIN’ AFTER MIDNIGHT”

LIE WHEN I DRINK”

Reese’s Corn Bread Chili Pie

Pie

Let’s face it, folks—life is not a perfect tableau. So just brush off the crumbs and get the show on the road.

Confetti Betty’s Champagne and Ginger Ale Cocktail Smoked Pecans Crab Puffs

Chmpage

Mint Juleps Paprika-Dusted Deviled Eggs Kentucky Hot Brown Bites Chocolate Derby Pecan Pie

Reciepes

steeplechase picnic menu

Tally ho

We always say in the South that good manners are a kind of passport. If you have good manners, you can go everywhere and people are glad to have you around. In this spirit, I grew up saying “Please” and “Thank you” and “Yes, ma’am” and “No, sir.” It actually took a long time to drum that “ma’am” habit out of me. I had to live in California for at least fifteen years before I stopped calling women even five years older than me “ma’am.”

Yes Ma’am! Me too!

Southern women are strong and outspoken but also beautifully composed and always present their best selves to the world.

And in my mother’s and grandmother’s eyes, what was beautiful was treating others with respect and putting your best foot forward.

My mother taught me this and I taught my daughter. I’m so proud of my daughter now. You can bet I will teach my granddaughter too! Respect and kindness brings peace and joy to the world, reverberating By the millions.

I learned that the customer is always right.

Oh yes!

To this day, one question I find myself asking people is whether or not they’ve had that experience of bonding with an animal and feeling as though it had a human soul.

My two dogs have convinced me of their souls.

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