More Happy Than Not

by Adam Silvera

I know Baby Freddy’s mother for her dedication to confirming the gossip that comes her way. (Rumor has it she’s learning basic French because her neighbor down the hall may be having an affair with the married superintendent, and the language barrier is a bit of a block. But, yeah, that’s gossip too.)

Chinese Simon, who is actually Japanese but didn’t speak up until a year too late.

I ignite the wick, and the firework takes flight. In that moment, I wish my existence were as simple as being set on fire and exploding in the sky.

I want every night to be like this, where we can just laugh against each other without it being weird. But for tonight, this is enough. From the shapes cast by the green paper lantern, you would never know that there were two boys sitting closely to one another trying to find themselves. You would only see shadows hugging, indiscriminate.

Evangeline leans toward me. “You have so much to live for,” she whispers. “Like what?” I ask, and either she told me and I already forgot or she has nothing convincing to say. This is going to be a long night. Well, a long night for them anyway. It’ll fly by for me.

“I honestly don’t want to live anymore, Thomas. I think it could be freeing to just get up and fly off this rooftop . . .” “If you love me, Stretch, you won’t leave me with the memory of you jumping off this roof now, or ever. Okay? If there’s one thing I’m begging you to remember from this conversation, it’s that promise.” “Okay, but in exchange you have to promise to never die. I can’t stand the pain of someone telling me every day that you’re dead. You need to always be alive and happy, okay?” He laughs through his tears. “You got it, Stretch. Immortality. No problem.”

I burst into tears because my people never forgot me. I’m the one who forgets.