Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City

by Matthew Desmond

Another approach involves surveying a person’s resources before trying to access them. Because in poor neighborhoods the most accepted way to say no is to say, “I can’t,” people sometimes try to take that option off the table. So, for example, instead of asking, “Can I get a ride?” you ask, “You got gas in your car?” Instead of asking, “Could you make me a plate?” you ask, “You eat?” When someone knows you have gas in your tank or food in your refrigerator, it’s harder to give a good reason for turning him or her away. Through everyday interaction, the poor have picked up what political fund-raisers and development officers have spent millions of dollars to discover: that there is a delicate art to “the ask.” Knowing how to ask for help—and, in turn, when to extend or withhold aid—is an essential skill for managing poverty. Asking social workers for help comes with its own set of rules. You don’t want to ask for nothing, because you’ll receive nothing in return. But you also don’t want to come off as too needy, too hungry, too on the edge—because Child Protective Services might soon pay you a visit. I once met a woman, a thirty-three-year-old mother of two teenage girls, who drank a lot. She attributed her drinking to traumatic events that happened to her as a child. “I remember. Down to the smell.” “Have you ever seen a counselor?” I asked.