Skulduggery Pleasant (Skulduggery Pleasant, #1)

by Derek Landy

Engines and shelves, that’s why man was invented.” Stephanie made a mental note to learn about engines before she turned eighteen. She wasn’t too fussed about the shelves.

“Well, I don’t plan on dying any time soon and I’ve got something he didn’t.” “And that is…?” “Your hat. Take me with you or I’ll stand on it.”

“Fashion,” said Ghastly with a shrug. “It’s life or death.”

“Doors are for people with no imagination.”

Before I get to introduce you to a life of crime, I get to introduce you to the Elder Mages.” “Crime sounds more fun.”

One thing you have to remember about the Elder Mages is that they’re—” “Really old sorcerers?” “Well, yes.” “Worked that out all by myself.” “You must be so proud.”

“If you hear any screaming,” he said, “that’ll be me.”

“That’ll teach him to underestimate stupid people.”