I Love a Cop: What Police Families Need to Know
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Failure to volunteer for overtime assignments may be perceived as not pulling a fair share of the load.
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For cops, dedication to the job, not the family, seems to be the important consideration, both for belonging and for promotion. This is a trap for cops who are convinced that advancement is the only way to better provide for their families
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His need for order and consistency was so excessive that he supervised ordinary household tasks like dishwashing and watering the yard. No one in his family dared argue or contradict him.
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They can’t weep during a death notification, even if they want to, because their presence should stabilize the crisis.
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In fact, cops rarely show sadness, fear, or uncertainty in front of each other because they dread losing each other’s support and respect.
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Officers are rewarded for maintaining emotional distance in the performance of their duties and suffer for doing so in their personal relationships, where the same emotional control causes them to hurt and alienate those they love and need.
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The result is a limited reality check on the universe. They come to believe that their world of work is a mirror of the world at large. If and when you try to suggest a different perspective, you may be told you don’t know what you are talking about because you aren’t a cop.
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avoid feeling depressed or listless. Or they develop a sense of superiority to anyone—including their family members—who doesn’t share their alarmist point of view.
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Cumulative stress is described on the Badge of Life website as a collection of micro-traumas or “soul woundings”—the secret mistakes, betrayals, and moments of shame, helplessness, or horror an officer never shares. Cumulative stress, sometimes known as burnout, results from the prolonged, unrelieved wear and tear that comes from having more demands than a person can respond to. Over time, this pile-up of subcritical incidents can damage one’s emotional and physical well-being and culminate in posttraumatic stress.