I was really hoping for intimacy with my wife, but she is clearly exhausted. My desire for sex is good [self-attunement], and instead of going to porn after she goes to bed, I can unwind with her and invite her to share more with me about the most exhausting elements of her day [self-containment and other-centered attunement]. In the morning, I will reengage the conversation around sexual intimacy and find a time that works best to be with one another. Every relational dilemma we encounter is a place to practice the harmonizing of attunement and containment.
