The Idea of You

by Robinne Lee

“I’m falling in love with you. I’m just going to put that out there, because I can. Because you told me I couldn’t if I was sleeping with anyone else, and I’m not, so there you have it…”

“You read a book?” He nodded. “Seven Days in the Art World. I thought I should probably learn something about what you do…” And in that instant I was thankful that he was half asleep. Because asleep, he could not see me cry.

“It hasn’t been just sex in a long time, Solène.” His words hung there, heavy like the Miami air. “Where are we going with this, Hayes?” “Where do you want to go with this?” “Where do you want to go with this?” “I want to go all the way.” In that moment he sounded so sure of himself, despite his tears. So certain of the possibility of us. I was still. Quiet. “You afraid?” he asked. I nodded. “So am I. But I’m all right with that. If I get hurt, I get hurt. It happens, right? Someone always gets hurt. But I don’t want to miss out on us because I was afraid.”

Love, she said, was not always perfect, and not exactly how you expected it to be. But when it descended upon you, there was no controlling it.

Because I knew, in my heart, that we would not last. And because every moment of it was extraordinary.