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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Maxie McCoy
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June 17 - June 18, 2020
It’s been proven time and time again: Hold your fist clenched and you have more willpower. Sit on a hard chair and you negotiate better. Act like you’re in love with the person next to you and you feel in love. We have more power over our emotions and feelings than we give ourselves credit for.
Who is a strong role model you can channel when you need some confidence? Think of the boldest person you admire.
“My inner voice is very ambitious and a perfectionist. It has very high standards and never thinks anything is a home run,” she told me. “It likes to go to a place of feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing. It says I don’t have the experience to be doing what I’m doing—that I didn’t go to school for this. I didn’t have a mentor that taught me how to do this. I didn’t have a job that taught me how to do this. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
You eat an elephant one bite at a time, so they say.
You’ve got to commit to the going when the going is boring as fuck.
What is the absolute smallest thing you can do right now to get closer to where you want to be?
In the many moments I’ve asked myself this question, it’s been the smallest plans that have made the biggest impact. Research writing classes. Read that book about the topic. Send that one email asking for an introduction. Buy the domain name. These
plans are boring and unmemorable, but they’re the stepping-stones to the big stuff.
Small can very much be better, because it’s a continuous feedback loop that can protect you from major meltdowns.
Consider charting a course in a boat. If you’re off even a few tenths of a degree, after a hundred miles, you’ll be so far off that getting back to your intended destination will be way harder than if you had made mile-by-mile plans to check in on your progress and see where you were at.
You’re most likely never going to love what you start with, but you will love what you build it into eventually.
What would make her feel proud to be standing there that day?
What does the you of next week want the you of today to be doing? Go do that.
It sounds so easy, but sometimes future success comes from being the person who just didn’t stop.
man came across three masons who were working at chipping chunks of granite from large blocks. The first seemed unhappy with his job, chipping away and frequently looking at his watch. When the man asked what he was doing, the first mason responded, rather curtly, “I’m hammering this stupid rock, and I can’t wait till five when I can go home.” A second mason, seemingly more interested in his work, was hammering diligently and when asked what he was doing, answered, “Well, I’m molding this block of rock so that it can be used with others to construct a wall. It’s not bad work, but I’ll sure be
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pieces until he was satisfied that it was the best he could do. When he was questioned about his work he stopped, gazed skyward, and proudly proclaimed, “I’m building a cathedral!”
This parable has always stuck with me as a reminder to consider the story I’m telling myself and others about my own circumstances, because the circumstances I loathed in 2011 were actually building blocks for my cathedral of today.
“Is this helpful? Am I creating solutions with these thoughts?”
space (I love lying horizontally on my bed, but the floor works beautifully too), imagining that I’m in the life that that decision holds. I stay there and observe how that decision feels in my body. Does it feel right, future aside, past aside, judgments aside? What is my body telling me that’s the same as or different from the shit my brain likes to prop up?
OK, maybe that exact conversation hasn’t happened to you, but whenever I hear some version of this, I’m always left wondering . . . why didn’t they just tell me they’re a producer? Because they are producing and owning that identity, and that really matters. You’re allowed to care about and be things that may not pay you the big bucks right now or ever.
you will be lost and unlost. over and over again. relax love. you were meant to be this glorious. epic. story. —NAYYIRAH WAHEED
Bali because it’s where I heard to go in the whisper. Bali because it’s a beautiful and creative place that’s also supposed to be quite cheap.
Fear is pretty cowardly. As soon as you acknowledge it and look it in the eye, it loses its power.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the
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Whether these are people you’ve never met or people you’ve known your whole life, if they’re not in the arena with you, don’t listen to them. Because what’s true is that the people worth having in your corner will always support your rise, not amplify your fears.
Mistakes aren’t what you think. A mistake is not a price tag on your value. It’s not a sign to stop. A mistake isn’t the sum of your experience. It doesn’t mean you should give up.
I found myself surprised when in it she explained that our feelings actually only last ninety seconds. Ninety
seconds . . . that’s
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard-trained brain scientist, lays out how this is possible in her book, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey: “Once triggered, the chemical released by my brain surges through my body and I have a physiological experience. Within 90 seconds from the initial trigger, the chemical component of my anger has completely dissipated from my blood and my automatic response is over. If, however, I rem...
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Or do you create a masterpiece with the discomfort, much like an oyster does to create a pearl?
When the proverbial grain of sand slips inside an oyster, it causes major discomfort to the oyster’s soft insides. To protect itself from the irritation, the oyster begins layering smooth material called nacre around the grain of sand. Slowly, coat after coat, layer after layer, a beautiful pearl is formed.
Like the oyster, you want the irritation, the intruders, the discomfort of trespassing fear. Because with it, you’ll create your masterpiece...
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Here’s the real truth: You won’t always be lost, but you’ll always be finding your way.
Each of them reminded me that the message I was sent wasn’t true—I fit in my britches just fine. In hindsight I was facing what we all face when we begin to expand: the natural reaction some will have when we begin taking up space—with our clarity, with our confidence, with our expression, with our actions. It’s the fallout of getting on your path, finding a little validation, and staying there.
Work your ass off, and then allow yourself to be heard.
When you believe in yourself, your cup is full. It’s what allows you to give back, to help, and to pull up the people and communities around you that need it. It’s not egomania; it’s fullness that runs over to benefit all the lives you’re a part of.
You’re not fucking lost. You’ve got you. Show that you believe in yourself by taking the steps you dared to dream, and you’ll have all the direction you’ve ever needed.
