Flashback (Keeper of the Lost Cities, #7)

by Shannon Messenger

“What?” he begged when she didn’t go on. He took her hand, gently twining his fingers with hers. “Please tell me. You can tell me anything.”

“This,” Sophie repeated, noticing the hand holding hers was shaking too. And his cheeks . . . they were flushed. And he’d said . . . He’d said . . . “I want it to be you.” It took her a second to realize he’d said it again. And he looked less startled this time—more . . . relieved as he took a step closer, leaving very little space between them. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’ve been trying not to say that, because it’s not fair. But . . . I couldn’t let you stand there looking like . . . like you do when someone gives you a compliment and you don’t believe it. I’m trying not to pressure you, Sophie. I know you’re not sure about any of this.” He used his shaky arm to gesture around the room. “But . . . I’m so tired of trying to hide the fact that the only name I want to see on my lists is . . . yours.” She sucked in a sharp breath, nearly choking on it thanks to the way her heart had crammed itself into her throat.

HE’S GOING TO KISS ME!

Their eyes held for a second, and his were full of all the words there wasn’t time for.

His smile was so sweet. And it was such . . . such a boyfriend thing to offer . . . that Sophie couldn’t help blushing when she smiled back. But now so wasn’t the time.

She wasn’t totally sure how to act around him anymore—especially now that they were with some of their friends.

She was very aware of Wylie and Tam watching them, but Fitz didn’t seem to care one bit. And that was good, because his shoulder was quickly becoming her favorite place in the whole world.

didn’t even care how closely Stina was watching as she held on tight to Fitz and let him keep spinning and spinning her.

Edaline shook her head at him. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s barely past sunset. And I’m sure they have lots to talk about.” And then, as if she wasn’t being horrifyingly obvious enough, she gave Sophie another eyebrow raise and hooked her arm around Grady’s, dragging him toward the house. “Is it possible to die from embarrassment?” Sophie wondered as Grady grumbled a bunch of loud protests about how he’d rather stay out in the pastures. Fitz laughed. “If you think they’re bad, wait until my parents find out about us.”

And there it was—the word that changed everything. Us. That was all it took for them to suddenly be . . . a thing. And Sophie couldn’t decide if she wanted to spin cartwheels or bury her face in her hands to hide her flushing cheeks.

What was she? Scared, maybe? And nervous. And excited. And not totally believing that any of this was real, and waiting for it to all turn out to be some huge misunderstanding.

“So,” Fitz said, watching her fidget with some of the fallen blossoms. “Do you want to say it? Or do you want me to guess? Or do you want me to drop it and we’ll just sit here and stare at the stars?” He glanced over his shoulder and pointed to the sky, which had faded to a peaceful swirl of purple and blue, brushed with flecks of twinkling glitter. “Anything’s fine, Sophie. Seriously.” He reached for her hand, gently tangling her gloved fingers with his. “I told you my new goal is to get you to trust me. And I mean it. I know this is hard for you. It’s hard for me, too—but in a different way. I’m only worried you’re going to laugh or—”

“I would never laugh,” Sophie interrupted. “I do like you, Fitz. You . . . have no idea how much.” His smile shone in the dim light.

“I know you don’t see yourself that way—it’s one of the things I like about you. You could be the most arrogant, obnoxious person ever, and you’re not. But sometimes I wish you saw yourself a little clearer, so you’d actually believe me when I tell you this.” He waited patiently for her to meet his eyes. “You’re brilliant and talented and beautiful and—are you crying?” “Sorry,” she said as his thumb brushed away the tears she hadn’t been able to blink back in time. “Sorry.” “Don’t apologize!” “Why? I’m being ridiculous. It’s just . . . no one’s ever said anything like that to me before.” And to have it coming from him . . . He brushed another tear away, and she pretty much melted against his hand. “I’m glad I got to be the first to do it,” he whispered, leaning close enough for his breath to tickle her damp cheek. “And I’m going to keep doing it until I make you believe me, okay? I mean it. I’m not giving up until you realize how awesome it’s all going to be. And until then . . . we’re good.”

“I said I’d try. Plus, there’s nothing embarrassing about the way he was looking at you, Sophie. That boy is smitten. You know that, right?”

“We’re not dating,” Sophie interrupted. Edaline’s eyebrows raised. “We’re not. We’re . . . waiting. Until it doesn’t feel so scary.”

head felt like it might burst from the love and happiness and worry and sadness and loneliness and relief that was swelling inside her.

Plus, I knew Silveny was here, so of course she was going to be craving some quality Keefe time, isn’t that right, Glitter Butt?” KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE!

“Should I call you Mama Glitter Butt now?” Mama Glitter Butt! Mama Glitter Butt!

“Hmm. Feels like my brilliant pep talk isn’t doing its job—so how about we play Name That Baby Alicorn? Otherwise I’m going to call them Sparkle Tushie Number One and Number Two. Actually, I’m probably going to call them that anyway—but I might occasionally go with something more official, as long as Mama and Papa pick something that pleases me.”

Silveny gave him some major alicorn side-eye.

“So I just wanted to say: You don’t have to act like it’s a secret. Because it’s not. It never really has been, honestly. I’ve been waiting for you guys to figure it out for years. I’m pretty sure our whole group has, between all the blushing and the cute little gifts and the ‘look at us, aren’t we the cutest Cognates ever?’ and the ‘let’s stare into each other’s eyes and do some trust exercises,’ and the ‘teal is my favorite color in the whole world but no one realizes why.’ ”

“If Fitzphie can do it, anyone can!”

Sophie decided to tell him everything. Well, everything except the mushy Fitz stuff, because . . . no.

School was the last thing Sophie felt like adding to her to-do list. But apparently it wasn’t optional.

Oh wow. It was amazing she didn’t melt into a puddle of goo right there.

Thank you, Sophie transmitted to Fitz. He nodded, stepping closer and pulling her into a hug—a hug that lasted longer than Sophie expected. Long enough that she finally had to pull away, hoping her face wasn’t super red. “Hail me when you’re back from Marella’s, okay?” Fitz asked, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I will,” Sophie promised. His fingers lingered on her cheek a few seconds longer. Then he raised his home crystal up to the light and leaped away. Keefe whistled, tearing his hands through his hair. “Wow, so that’s how it’s going to be now, huh? I mean, I appreciate you skipping the whole goodbye-smoochy-smoochy thing, but—” “Ugh, we don’t do that yet,” Sophie corrected—and then instantly regretted it. Keefe raised one eyebrow. “Does that mean—”

“Hey,” Keefe said, stepping forward and grabbing Fitz’s shoulder. “He can’t talk if he’s unconscious.” “And you’re bleeding,” Biana added, leaning on Dex as she pointed a shaky hand at Fitz’s dripping knuckles.

“That’s . . . the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

His voice cracked, and he squeezed her even tighter. She hugged him back, feeling like she could breathe for the first time in a while.

“And Fitz freaked,” Marella added. “So . . . you should probably check on your boyfriend.” Sophie couldn’t tell if Marella was teasing or not. But either way, the word sat there, daring her to deny it. She didn’t. But she didn’t confirm it either. Because now was absolutely not the time.

The anger. And doubts. And sadness. The memories that were too painful to replay. All rang with vulnerability and strength. And with each new beat—each new pulse—the monster changed shape. Until it wasn’t a monster at all. Just something else that lived inside her. Something she could embrace. And when Sophie gave her mind over to the shadows, the shadows welcomed her in. And she slept as the echoes faded away.

SOPHIE ELIZABETH FOSTER IS UNMATCHABLE.