Notes from Underground
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To live longer than forty years is bad manners, is vulgar, immoral.
Ava Courtney Sylvester
Oopsie.
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Who does live beyond forty? Answer that, sincerely and honestly I will tell you who do: fools and worthless fellows.
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But yet I am firmly persuaded that a great deal of consciousness, every sort of consciousness, in fact, is a disease.
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It is clear to me now that, owing to my unbounded vanity and to the high standard I set for myself, I often looked at myself with furious discontent, which verged on loathing, and so I inwardly attributed the same feeling to everyone.
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We, in Russia, have no fools; that is well known. That is what distinguishes us from foreign lands.
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even then I was struck by the pettiness of their thoughts, the stupidity of their pursuits, their games, their conversations.
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they took no interest in such striking, impressive subjects, that I could not help considering them inferior to myself.
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They took rank for intelligence;
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I hated them horribly, though perhaps I was worse than any of them.
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Besides, with love one can live even without happiness.
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which is better—cheap happiness or exalted sufferings?